Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Hailey. Wish I could be there to celebrate your Bday with you. I hope you have a great day! Hugs and Kisses from all of us in Indiana! XXXOOO

Use It Or Lose It

My desk doesn't look like that, but I'm pretty sure the inside of my head does. I have lots of things pinging around in my brain; it's hard to remember it all. I know what some people would say. "You can't remember because you are getting old!" To those people I like to say: "kiss my ass!". I prefer to call it information overload. It's just like when a computer gets bogged down with information and starts to run slower. It can't think as fast, so you have to do a disk clean and reboot. I haven't quite figured out how to clean my brain and reboot, but if I do you will be the first to know.

The other day I was using the spare key to my truck that has the door unlocking thing that doesn't work. I forgot that it was broken and I tried to unlock my door. For a split second I freaked because I wasn't sure how I was going to get into my car. Oh yeah, use the key. Who would have thought using a key in a lock would be old fashioned. Everything is soooo technical and has it's own set of instructions to memorize. I'm pretty sure that every gadget I own does a lot more than what I use it for, but I don't have the time or memory storage to figure it out. Plus, the older a person is the more they have to unlearn as well. Take for instance driving your car. Older cars required pumping the gas pedal to get it to start. If you did that to cars of today I'm not even sure what would happen. The biggest thing for me with regards to cars is to remember not to pump the brakes if you start to slide on ice. If you do that to anti lock brakes they go all screwy.

I apparently mumble a lot more too. Joe is constantly asking me: "What?" Talking out loud helps me remember what I need to do. I finally told Joe not to worry about what I say if he can't hear me. "If I want you to know something I will make sure you hear me, otherwise just ignore me or agree."

I have taken to carrying a small journal around with me wherever I go so I can keep notes. The problem is sometimes I can't remember where I put the journal. I could always put it on a chain around my neck with my reading glasses but that would be annoying. I read somewhere that if you want to look 10 years older, just wear a pair of glasses on a chain around your neck. I try not to do that, so consequently I forget where I put my reading glasses as well. I have 10 pair of them. They are usually pretty easy to find. Sometimes I find them on top of my head. That's the best place to find them because if I have to go to another room to look for them I will probably forget what I'm looking for by the time I get to the other room.

"Use it or lose it", they say. I'm definetly using it, I just wish the warranty was better.

Let's Stop The Pussy Foot Train

After leaving my favorite coffee shop (Dunkin Donuts) and driving past the employee entrance of the local IHop, I had an epiphany. I know how we can fix the health care problem.

You see, at the employee entrance of the IHop there were 7 people standing outside in the 20 degree temperature smoking cigarettes. How can one not see the sheer stupidity of that scenario???? Human survival instinct tells us to avoid situations that would put us in harms way. Standing in below freezing temperatures with inappropriate clothing and ingesting a substance that further restricts blood flow goes against natural survival instincts and brings to mind the Darwinian theory of natural selection (survival of the fittest).

So, how does this relate to the health care issue? You ask. If you smoke, you are penalized with higher insurance premiums than those that don't smoke. You would also pay higher deductibles for procedures you need that are related to smoking. You wouldn't be allowed to be on Medicaid or Medicare if you smoked either. If you're asking for a government handout, then you should not be able to spend your money on $4 a pack cigarettes.

Nothing pisses me off more than to see a woman with 4 kids, cigarettes in her purse, talking on a cell phone about what club she's going to tonight, and paying for her groceries with food stamps. Come on lady why don't you just slap me in the face and laugh at me, because that's what it feels like your doing.

Can America get off the pussy foot train and start getting tough on freeloaders. While we're at it, lets limit the number of babies a woman on welfare can have. That's right, I said it and I mean it. They're asking for a handout, then there should be conditions with that handout.

I am so sick of hearing about being politically correct. Some people just need to have their asses handed to them.

The other thing that really got me going tonight was what I heard on the news about the second Nigerian that caused a "disturbance" on a plane. They reported that he was on the terrorist watch list, but not on the no fly list. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN WE BE!!!!!! This guys own father turned him in. But we can't do anything to him because there is no evidence he's a terrorists. We're just going to let him do whatever he wants and then we'll pick up the pieces after he blows something up. Fry the bastard now or send him back to Nigeria.

I'm sure that things would be a lot better if America just focused on America and let everyone else fend for themselves.

I feel better that I got that off of my chest, but really I mostly feel sad that this is where we are as a culture. I think we need a do over.

I Screwed Up

I am officially a dumb ass (again). I think it happened once in 1985.

Joe and I just got home from our Christmas rounds and decided to give the computer a try again. Joe being the optimist that he is thought that maybe there was a Christmas miracle while we were gone and everything was fixed. I hooked everything back up with the same result. The phone didn't work and neither did the Internet. I thought I would do a little troubleshooting so I decided to try the connection in another jack. I took everything into the kitchen with me and attempted to hook it all up. This time however I was looking at the back of the modem instead of trying to look over top of it and upside down as I was before. As soon as I looked at it I knew what I had been doing wrong. I was plugging the phone line into the Ethernet plug instead of the phone plug. DUH!

I admitted my mistake to Joe and I took the teasing like a man. Then Joe says: "I was going to ask you if you had it hooked up in the right holes." "Why didn't you say something????" "I'm scared of you!" Bryan told me the other day that he was scared of me too. Really? What exactly is it? Why am I scary? I don't yell and scream. I can't even remember the last time I punched someone. (Honestly I've never punched anyone unless you count the time I got in a fight with Sally Batton when I was 12, and all I really did was pull her hair.) Maybe I'm not really scary, maybe it's just that you all see the potential for me to be scary and you don't want to go there. Is that it, you don't want to let Pandora out of the box?

How scary can I be, I'm willing to call myself a dumb ass. (Just don't you do it).

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm writing on Bryan's computer because I am having internet issues again. This time It may be my phone line. Who knows!!!!! I called to report my issues to Verizon and as usual I got someone from out of the country. This guy was in Mexico City. While I waited for him to test the lines, he engaged me in conversation; asking me about my Christmas plans etc....we ended our call after he connected me with someone else. "Thank you for calling Verizon and have a Happy Easter"! Wait...what???? That pretty much illustrates the proficency with which complaints are handled. Hopefully my phone will be fixed by 2010.

I'm On A Roll

My crochet sales are blowing up! Not doing that great yet on ETSY, but in the last week Amanda has sold about 5 items from the display I have set up at Miracle In Motion. I'm gonna have to get moving and replenish my inventory. I guess I know what I'll be doing in Florida. At this rate Joe is gonna get to retire sooner than he thought.

One of the items that I recently sold on ETSY went to a lady in Hawaii. Some little girl is going to be running around Hawaii wearing a dress I made. How cool is that! Gotta go, my yarn is calling.

Squeaky Wheel

The saying about the squeeky wheel getting oiled must be true. I went to see Mom this evening and install the chair brace that I made. She was in the dining room, but I went to her room first. Lo and behold Someone had put velcro pads under each foot of the chair and wedged a board between the wall and the chair. It's a Christmas miracle! They actually listened. A few of the other items that I requested were taken care of as well. I will happily continue to assume the bitch role if that is what it takes to get things done.

I went to the dining room to visit with Mom for awhile. There was another daughter visiting her mother at Mom's table as well. We were having a nice visit and conversation until............one of the ladies at the table went off on a paranoid tangent. She started out by asking myself and the other daughter if we had been invited to be at the table. I giggled a little and told her that I was there visiting my mother. She glared at me and says: "what are you laughing about!?" She continued on by accusing us of stealing from her. She told Mom: "you better watch yourself". Luckily Mom is enough hearing impaired that she didn't know what was going on; although a couple of times during this womans disertation I heard Mom laugh. She then attempted to engage the 4th woman at the table in the conversation by asking her if she was involved in the conspiracy too. That poor woman was oblvious as well. She couldn't hear well either and she just responded by telling us why she wasn't eating. Then she started asking everyone if they had a car, because she wanted a ride home. I wanted to go home by that time too. Funny but sad. Just another typical day at the 'ol nursing home.

How Does One Qualify As A Moron?

Last week when I visited Mom, I found that her recliner chair was broken. I knew exactly what was wrong with it because it happened one time before. One or more of the morons that work at the nursing home reclined the chair when it was too close to the wall and instead of stopping when they hit the wall they just kept pressing the controls until it stripped the rod that attaches the chair to the motor. I am assuming they though that if they continued to use the motor it would push the chair away from the wall and then they wouldn't have to physically do any work to move the chair. Never mind the fact that after the first time they broke it and I had the chair repaired, I put a sign on the wall right behind the chair that instructs one to move the chair away from the wall before reclining. Maybe it was a different moron that broke it this time; who knows????

Needless to say I was a little hot under the collar about this situation along with a few other issues, so I went to the director of nursing and voiced my complaints in a fair and calm manner. I didn't even use the word moron in my presentation. I told the director that I could fix the chair myself; however, she assured me that their maintenance guy would fix it. I knew it was relatively easy to fix because I watched the repair guy from the chair company fix it the first time (In the back of my mind I must have known it was going to happen again).

One week later.....the chair is not repaired. No call from them to say that they couldn't fix it, it just wasn't done. I turned the chair upside down, fixed the son of a bitch and went on a mission. Too bad for the people working that day. Unfortunately it was a Saturday and the director wasn't working. I laid out my issues to pretty much everyone within ear shot. I wasn't yelling, but I was stating the facts fast and furious. It wasn't just about her broken chair, it was about them losing her wheel chair (saying they didn't know it was her personal chair). Look at her belonging sheet you fucking morons, it's listed right there. I didn't actually say that last statement, but it was on the tip of my tongue. It was about them not answering Mom's call light. It was also about the wound on Mom that they swore wasn't there over a week ago when she complained about it hurting. I should have looked for myself then, but I was trusting them. (FYI, the wound she has is not something that they caused directly. If it had been, this would be a whole nother story!) I have asked Mom if anyone ever mistreats her and she says "No".

Supposedly the nurse on duty is going to document my concerns and give them to the director on Monday. We shall see because I will be there on Monday, along with the wood frame I made to sit behind Mom's recliner. I made it to butt between the back of the chair and the wall enough distance so that it prevents the chair from being too close to the wall. It's moron proof.

I'm sure you've noticed I use the word moron a lot. I like that word, but I have my own definition. Moron: A person of normal intelligence and capable of using common sense who chooses not to use their intelligence or common sense because they are lazy or they just don't care about other people. Example: The guy on the You Tube video that puts a roman candle in his butt orifice and lights it. That is a prime example of a person not using their common sense; hence, he is a moron. His friends are morons as well because they didn't try to stop him. They obviously didn't care what happened to him. Addendum: examples of not using common sense must be more on the extreme end to qualify as moronic.

Getting What You Want Is Not Always Satisfying

After months of correspondence, certified mail, Arguing and exasperation I have received what I requested from the VA. What I requested was to be the "fiduciary" for my Mother's affairs since she is no longer capable of handling them herself. Never mind that I already have Power of Attorney. The VA doesn't recognize a legal POA. Leave it to the government to make things more difficult. I sent the VA the information that they said was necessary 5 times. Yep! The same information 5 times. So....does that mean they are all morons and no one knew what to do with the paperwork? Or is it they just didn't care so it laid on someones desk and was lost in the shuffle? I'm betting it was a little of both.

Now that I have my mother declared incompetent with respect to her VA affairs, I don't feel so good. Incompetent is a legal term but it sounds so derogatory. Kind of like the word moron; except when I use the word moron it is derogatory. Mom's not incompetent, she just can't write a check because her hand shakes too much. Plus her eyesight is so bad she can't even see the paper very well. She's done her job in life, so now it's my turn to help her out. All I wanted was for the VA to say that it is ok for me to do the talking to them when I have a question, not to call her names. I know it's all a formality and legality kind of thing, but it's my Mom! She's so much more than what she has been transformed into because of her age and health.

It is so hard to keep my eyes open to what is real and inevitable. It's easier to close them and pretend that everything is fine; except that I run into wall when my eyes are closed.

Where's The Beef? In My Freezer!

I love Joe's friends. Maybe they aren't friends so much as colleagues but whatever they are they have good taste. Sometimes Joe will take care of a colleague or their family member. They will be appreciative and sometimes send us a gift at Christmas. We've gotten gourmet candy, grapefruits from Texas, steaks, wine etc....
Although, the last few years we haven't gotten anything. So either Joe is slacking, or because we never send anything out but a card people got tired of spending money on us.

This year Joe was on someones nice list because we received a shipment of beef yesterday. That last statement makes it sound like it was an entire cow. For the price they apparently paid it should have been, but no it is one 3lb. beef tenderloin roast. It came from a company called "Allen Brothers". A catalog of their offerings came with the shipment. According to the catalog, the tenderloin they sent is priced at.........$199.95. HOLY MAD COW DISEASE!!!!!!!! Thank you very much, but SERIOUSLY? I checked the box to make sure the beef wasn't wrapped with 14kt gold paper. What could they possibly do to this beef to make it worth that much? I may actually have to go out and buy a thank you card for these people instead of making one up on my computer on recycled paper.

I made a beef tenderloin roast for our Christmas celebration last weekend. My roast was twice as big and only about a quarter of the price. It turned out really well, but I was a nervous wreck worrying about fixing it. I didn't want to ruin a $50 roast. I may have a nervous breakdown over fixing this $200 roast.

The roast came with a bonus too. It was packed in dry ice. Jaxon was fascinated by the smoke from the ice when we put it in the sink in some water. Actually I was quite mesmerized too. See, all they would have had to send was the ice and we would have been happy. (Try explaining to a 2 year old how smoking ice is cold not hot, but it will burn you.)

I am going to have to get up the nerve to cook this baby before it gets freezer burn. Maybe New Years Eve. Wait for your invitation in the mail.

If anyone wants to know what they can get me for Christmas, Allen Brothers has a "Steak of the Month" club. For only $1399.95 they will send a different "Prime" cut of meat every month; with the exception of February and November when the cut is only "Choice". I'll be waiting for my gift notice.

Please Sit Down

This isn't a Christmas type of blog but it's been on my mind for awhile and I need to share. Who was the first guy that decided it was ok to pee standing up???? I would like to know so I could kick his ass. I get it that you guys do it because you can. I really wish I could do it without peeing on my leg. You guys can do it outside all you want or even in public restrooms, but I really wish I could enforce a ban on it in my house. I don't care how good a guy thinks his aim is, it's not good enough. Liquid hitting liquid from a distance of 2 feet will splash. In most cases it's probably more than 2 feet, but I'm not judging. It's on the wall, the outside of the toilet, the rim, the seat, the floor. Even if you aim dead center it will splash. GROSS! If nothing else, you should all sit down just out of respect for the person that cleans the toilet. Maybe I should install a urinal in my house. One that sits about thigh high on the wall and has a tube you have to put your member in so you don't splash all over. If you guys sat down while peeing then the whole "putting the seat down" debate would be solved. The only way you are allowed to stand up to pee in the house is if your Johnson skims the water. I know it would take some getting used to but you guys are tough you can handle it. It would give you a reason to get out of bed and go to work in the morning knowing that you can pee standing up at work.

Maybe this is a Christmas blog after all because all I want for Christmas is for the men (or boys) using my bathroom to sit while peeing. If that wish came true, it really would be a Christmas miracle.

Don't Mess With Karma

Doesn't everyone know that I am done with my Christmas celebration so when I go shopping now it's just for everyday essentials. Traffic is crazy, people are crazy. I just want to walk into a store, get what I want and walk out. Not so easy to do right now. It's is kind of fun however; laughing at all the people trying to get their shopping done. Still, I really don't want to leave the house again until after Christmas. I'll have to train Joe to shop and then I can send him for everything.

I had to go to Walmart (the worst place to go this time of year). I wanted to print out some photos that I had scanned and touched up for Amanda. The photos were from her church for their directory. She could have bought extra pictures from them, but they were ridiculously expensive. So I scanned the picture, cropped it and put a border around it and called it my own. I know, it's wrong and I lied to the photo people when I got the pictures. I'm not good at lying. Well, maybe I am good at lying because they bought my story, but I feel really guilty. I also believe in Karma and a balance in life (yin yang). Their has to be a balance between good and bad or you become unhealthy either physically or mentally. I know I'm only talking about illegally printing a photo, but it doesn't matter it's still bad Karma, and I had to fix it. I couldn't take the pictures back, that's just dumb. So as I'm leaving the parking lot, there is an alleged homeless guy standing on the corner. I say alleged because while he did have a bag and sleeping roll, it could have been a prop and he just uses it to get more sympathy. I didn't care though, if he's not really broke and homeless then he has to worry about his own Karma. I gave him $5. He was very appreciative and wished me a Merry Christmas. I felt good knowing that at least he could eat a little today and as a bonus I balanced out my Karma. All is right with the world.

Merry Christmas

Hello old friend! I've been away too long. It's not that I didn't have anything to say. I had plenty of stories that I would write in my head, but when it came down to putting them on the computer I was too tired and my head was filled with all of the things I needed to get done for our Christmas gathering. I didn't have room in my little brain for everything. Even I have my limits.

Our Christmas party for 2009 is over already. It funny to me all of the planning that goes into an event that doesn't last more than a few hours. Honestly, I bitch and moan (to Joe) about all the work I have to do, and I stress about getting everything done. But when it come right down to it, I wouldn't have it any other way. Besides, I bring most of the stress on myself by creating all kinds of projects. Plus striving to make it perfect is very stressful and in my mind it's never good enough. I know in my head that we would all have a good time if I didn't plan anything and we were just together, but in my heart I have to be "the Mom" and try and make things special and memorable. I want my kids and grand kids to remember the fun times at Nanu and Papa Joe's house. I need to keep in mind however that the most memorable things are the unplanned things. Like.......When Lorrie and Julie did acrobatic Yoga in the library and Harrison got mad because his Mom was laughing and being silly. Or when Santa came and he looked "disheveled" (as Amanda said). His wig was on funny and the hair pretty much covered his face. We couldn't keep his hat on either. Poor Santa! He was an awesome Santa though and the kids loved him. Except for maybe Jaxon and initially Connor was a little taken aback but he warmed up to him. Let see what else???? Oh yeah Sarah and Brad bitching about the annual game and how much work it was. You guys know you love it! Bryan and I having the first fight of Christmas over how to work the TV. Who can forget how Jaxon kept Nanu up half of the night crying over I don't know what and me threatening to take him home and telling him to be quiet because he was going to wake everyone up. Brad and Amanda don't remember because they weren't here! Now that I've had a nap, I forgive him. I have also brought more converts to Ruinite D'oro wine. I'm telling you it's the best! I know there is more I'll have to think about it.

One bad thing was the fact that Brian and Malia weren't her this year. We missed you guys! I'll photoshop you into the Christmas picture later.

I also forgot to give a Christmas toast, so here it is. First I was going to tell everyone to dust off their plates because I had the table set for about a week (oh well, a little dust never hurt anyone). Then I would have said something about how happy I was that everyone was here and how much we missed Brian and Malia. I would have talked about Joe not feeling well and how we were worried about him and how scared we all were when Julie was sick. Then I would have said that we are a strong family and we will stick together no matter what and I couldn't be prouder to call you all my family and I love you all very much. Then I would cry and we would all laugh and drink wine.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

To Be Continued

On hiatus until after December 14th. Toooooooo busy to blog!

Tres Birthdays

Boy am I way behind on posts! I've missed 3 birthdays! 2 brand new births and one old birth (sorry Brad).

Lennon Bernadette McKee was born on November 13th. First child for Lauren and Kenny. There is no doubt in my mind that Lennon is one lucky girl. Kenny will surely possess the fathering skills passed on from Roger and Lauren will see to it that Lennon has everything she needs down to the smallest of detail. I can't wait to meet her! Congrats!

Brad's Birthday was the 14th. First day of shotgun hunting season. He got to hang out with the boys on his birthday. He even got a Doe on his birthday (but we aren't going to talk about that). Happy Belated Birthday Brad! Just because it's late doesn't mean it's any less special!

Peyton Steven McKee was born on November 20th. Second child for Lisa and Walt Stone. Peyton joins big brother Henry. Peyton arrived a little early, but I am pretty sure that that was welcomed. Lisa I am so happy that you found your bliss with Walt and now have 2 beautiful babies! Can't wait for pictures and to meet him in person. Congrats!

Joke From The 40's

I found this old joke in Mom's stuff. Not completely politically correct, but none the less funny.

Love Letters

How beautiful is this!!!!!!!(click on the letters to view them larger.)

Crochet Subculture

The craft show I exhibited at was a success. I made over $200! $200 will buy a lot of yarn. It was fun having everyone ooh and aah over my stuff. Sometimes people's reactions surprise me. Crochet seems so simple to me and they make me feel like some kind of yarn god. I guess it's like anything else, the more you do it the easier it is. People who have never crocheted are amazed. People who do crochet act not impressed and are sometimes even rude. I call them crochet snobs. Crochet snobs are different from crochet Nazis. Nazis want to be important so they share their designs, but they want control over who makes them. Then you have the snobs that think they can do better than everyone else; or even if they can't they try to make it seem so. I used to be a selfish crocheter. Everything I made I wanted to keep. I couldn't bear parting with things or even selling things. I could never charge what the items are worth based on the time involved. No one would buy them. I have pretty much come to terms with my selfishness. Mainly since most of the things I make now are for babies. If I don't sell or give away the baby items, I will have to rent a storage space to keep them. Still, however; if I make something like an adult size sweater, I keep it for myself. Anything that takes a long time stays with me. I could keep a small village warm for the winter with the amount of shawls, ponchos and sweaters I have made that are stuffed in a storage box under my bed.

I like making items for babies because they are soooooo cute and tiny. They generally don't take a long time to make relative to making something for an adult of the same pattern. Also, people tend to keep handmade items that their babies wore as heirlooms or keepsakes. The chance of a next generation wearing one of my crochet creations is likely. I like that idea. I guess that makes me somewhat of a crochet narcissist.

Happy Birthday

I didn't forget to wish Joe a Happy Birthday on the 8th, but I didn't have time to post it. I was too busy catering to his every whim. He got breakfast in bed, a professional massage, three tiered birthday cake, gourmet dinner, and I let him have the big TV all day so he could watch horse racing. He was in birthday heaven. I am such a good wife!

I lied, he only got the last two things. Listening to horse racing all day was a huge sacrifice for me, so yeah; I am a good wife.

Happy Birthday my little love bug!

Almost A Tragedy

I have a scary story to tell you, but if you read this you have to promise not to tell Joe.

I've been doing a very good job taking care of Ellie while Joe is in Florida. I don't hold her and carry her around as much as Joe, and I admit I don't watch her as closely as Joe when she is outside but none the less she is pampered compared to most dogs. Joe is coming home tomorrow so it's only a matter of hours before Joe and Ellie are reunited and I can relax a little. You see, I'm still convinced that if anything ever happened to Ellie that was my fault, I would be kicked to the curb.

With that in mind, you will understand why the events of this evening could have changed the entire course of my marriage.

I had Ellie dressed in a sweater to help keep the chill off while her and I were out in the yard. I went to the barn to see if I had another squirrel in my live trap (the count is up to 4). Ellie followed me into the barn which kind of surprised me because the chickens were in there too. She was sniffing around while the chickens were doing their thing. I even thought that it was good that Ellie and the chickens could finally be in the same area without an incident. When I first got the chickens Ellie tried to take a stand and show them who was boss. The chickens however had a different idea and chased Ellie until she was a quivering ball of fur. Ever since then Ellie kept her distance.....until today.

So, Ellie and the chickens are close to each other but not interacting at all. I make the mistake of talking to Ellie which got her a little excited. I said: "You're not gonna get the chickens are you?" I think she heard "get the chickens" and she made a little attempt at intimidation by doing a little lunge toward one of them and letting out a little growl. Now, if Bear (who weights 45 lbs.) lunges at the chickens, they run. When Ellie (who weighs 5 lbs) lunges at the chickens, they attack. In a split second, the chicken that Ellie lunged at ran away a few steps then turned around and jumped on top of Ellie who by this time had rolled over on her back in submission. The chicken is on top of Ellie with it's wings flapping and squawking. It reminded me of the Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kingdom episodes where they showed huge birds grabbing their prey from the ground and taking off. By the time I got to Ellie, the rest of the chickens were ganging up on her and jumping on top of her as well. I'm screaming: "DON"T KILL HER!!!!!!" I grab Ellie; who is now in a tight little ball, from the midst of the chicken frenzy. Surprisingly she isn't shaking and seems actually calm. She's probably in shock.

I think the whole event looked worse than it really was, so I didn't feel so bad when I started to laugh uncontrollably. I was laughing out of relief that she was ok and that I wouldn't have to find another place to live. She doesn't have a scratch on her. I'm pretty sure the sweater saved her from claw marks. Joe never need know of the events of today. It would only hurt him. Remember you promised to keep this a secret. Some things are just better left unsaid.

I Am Small And I Have Nothing To Complain About

Now I know why sales has never been my thing. I'm too much of a softy. I hate asking people for money and if they have any sad story I'm ready to give them whatever they want for free. Even selling crochet, my main goal is to deplete my inventory and get enough money to support my habit. It's never been about a profit.

I told you that I sold the breast cancer awareness scarf. I hadn't had any correspondence from the person that bought it until today. I sent her verification of shipment and she wrote me back the sweetest note and told me about her 32 year old daughter that has a rare form of breast cancer. This is her daughters second occurrence. When she finishes her chemo, her mother is going to give her the scarf.

I wish I could adequately describe how this makes me feel. I feel small and that family's issue is huge. I feel guilty for taking money for it. I feel proud that in some weird way I will touch her life and hopefully make her smile. I feel connected and so sad. I feel privileged that this woman shared her story with me; a total stranger. Who would have thought that selling my crochet would make me cry.

I'm definitely not making another one of those scarves. It's too emotional from every angle!

When Is Doing It Yourself Not Really Worth It?

When the Dish Network people came to install the new dish, they cut through the dogs invisible fence line. It wasn't their fault, I forgot about it. Joe and I used a metal detector to try and find the wire to no avail. Bear is so old and senile that I thought maybe he would be ok without it. Apparently not; he's a wanderer. It would cost $90.00 plus if invisible fence came out to fix it. So....tonight, in an effort to save $90.00 I decided to try and find the break in the wire myself. After digging close to 100 feet of holes and fighting with a huge pine tree, I finally found the two ends! My trenching made the mole tracks in my yard look like ant hills. Right now the leaves are covering the messed up grass so maybe by spring it will look ok. All I have to do now is get the supplies to splice it together and Bear will be back to being zapped in no time, and I saved $90.00. Oh yeah, I have to rebury the wire too.

I'll probably have to pay $90.00 to fix the yard, and I'm going to need a $60.00 massage to fix my back, but that's not the point. The point is......I did it myself!
Yah me!

Visiting MaMa

I was visiting Mom yesterday and we were all watching the roommate's TV. I've mentioned before that Mom's roommate is quiet. She only speaks when she knows I have candy and if I get too close to her space. Even then she uses as few words as possible. I met her daughter yesterday. Her daughter is as loud as she is quiet. She's pretty over the top even for me. She gave a full commentary on the Oprah show. I felt like I needed to agree with her on everything she said. She wasn't rude, just in your face. She kind of scared me. Her Mom scares me, but in a different way. I was hoping Mom didn't make one of her wrinkly nose faces, or say something like; "why is she talking so loud?" It wasn't all unpleasant. At least it broke up the monotony of the day for Mom.

I still have a really hard time visiting Mom. I feel helpless and that word is not in my vocabulary. At least I bring Mom some pleasure when I refill her candy dish with Almond Kisses. The roommates daughter brought her an avocado. Really??? who just eats avocados with nothing else????? And why is that a treat????? If I told Mom I brought her an avocado, I would definitely get the wrinkly nose face.

I'm In The Money

I did it; my first Etsy sale.....and quess what I sold???? It was that damn scarf that caused me so much grief from the crochet nazi. My controversial scarf is going all the way to Utah. I'm halfway tempted to make another one just so I can have it up on my site, but that would be wrong and I just need to let it go.
IN YOUR FACE BIACH!!!! I feel better now.

Things That Go Bump In The Night

I miss my honey! He's in Florida without me. It's 95 degrees there by the way. He's been doin a lot of fishing with the good 'ol boys. He caught a Tarpon. I'm not sure how big the one he caught was, but they can get pretty big and put up one hell of a fight. I would have loved to have seen that!

I've been sleeping with someone else since Joe's been gone. I have already confessed to Joe and he's ok with it. They are his friends too; Smith and Wesson. I usually don't get scared by myself, but I let my mind get the best of me and I was convinced that someone was going to come in my house and get me. I make sure all the doors are locked and I have all of the outside lights on. I used to feel comforted in the fact that Bear was here. He was a great watch dog and protector in his day. Not so much anymore. He's partially blind and stone cold deaf. I am however going to have to double check the outside of the door before I lock it from the inside. Last night I left the key in the outside lock. Brilliant!

I told Joe about my insecurities and he was a little amused. He was surprised that I was scared. He says: "Even if I was there, how am I going to protect you? I'm a wimp. Or do you just want me there so you can push me in front so you can get away?"
Good point! He may not protect me, but I know that if anyone ever broke into the house while he was there he would do whatever it took to protect........Ellie. So, as long as I remained behind him and Ellie I would be ok too.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Lisa!!!! I haven't been on my blog in a few days. I'm behind in my birthday wishes. I hope you had a wonderful birthday! I Love You!

Wildlife Control

I've been doing a little wildlife management lately. A family of red squirrels decided my newly sided barn was the perfect place to hole up for the winter. I had other ideas. For a week or so I've been hearin a lot of scampering in the barn rafters and gnawing of wood. Tapping on the walls didn't seem to deter them. They kept on gnawing and scampering. The red squirrels are much more rodent like than the regular squirrels and probably more destructive. I put out a live trap and within 2 days I had my first capture. I put him in the back of my truck. I had to go to a house to pick up some items that I bought at auction. The house was on 20 some wooded acres so Bryan and I decided that we would just let him out there. He was happy to be free and scurried away. Two days later I had another squirrel. I figured I'd let him out at the same place so he could find his friend. It was evening and I decided to take Ellie with me for the ride. I had to put the squirrel in the car with me because my truck is broken. That was a big mistake. As soon as Ellie realized there was another animal in the car she went nuts! Ellie was growling and the squirrel was chattering and running back and forth in the cage. I thought for sure the squirrel was going to get out and be running around my car. I had a heck of a time trying to keep Ellie back while I tried to let the squirrel go. One day later I captured my third squirrel and again I took him to the same place to release him. I didn't take Ellie this time. I have the trap set again. We'll see what happens tonight.

Does The Meaning Fit?

Amanda and I were talking about names and what they mean. Patricia for instance means Noblewoman. That pretty much fits me; I can live with that! I found that description by googling "meaning of names" and I went to this site. Then I googled just my name; Patti. Kind of wish I hadn't done that. I looked on Wikipedia and found that In one language in India, dogs are called Patti. In New Jersey (USA) they refer to sea cows as Patti. I prefer the Noblewoman thing to the sea cow reference.

What does your name mean?

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Brad & Kim and Lauren & Kenny. Sorry I'm a few days late. I hope you all had a romantic time....not all together of course. I love you all!

I Survived The Process

If you've seen my comments on facebook, then you know I have finally succeeded in securing Medicade for my Mom. What an interesting process! After all of my phone calls ended in more confusing information or no information at all I decided to take matters into my own hands and show up at the office of Family and Social Services. I chose to go to a rural office instead of the one in downtown Fort Wayne. I had been told by more than one person that the rural office would be less busy. In front of me in the parking lot was an elderly couple. They were hunting for parking spot. I assumed they were going to the Social Services office too. I figured I could totally out run them and get ahead of them in line. I parked really quickly and went around to the passenger side to retrieve all of my paperwork. In my haste things fell out of the car and papers started flying around. I quickly gathered the fallen items, grabbed my purse and briefcase and took off for the door. Even with my little mishap at the car I was still way ahead of them. I turned around to see where they were and saw them walking into the grocery store. I laughed a little to myself and then hoped that I didn't screw up my good Karma by being so selfish. There was only one other person in the waiting room when I walked in, and she was working on a computer. A lady came out right away when the door buzzer sounded.
I informed her that I needed to talk to someone about my Mom's case. She looked at me kind of puzzled, like this was an unusual occurrence. She says: "did someone tell you to come here?" I say: "yes, my psychic." No, I didn't really say that but I thought it was a weird question. Then she tells me that there is a phone on the desk here that is a direct line to the 1-800# for the office in Indy. Really???? I didn't just drive 20 miles so that I could use your phone. I remained calm and tried to explain my problem the best I could while standing in the middle of the waiting room. The issues I have are not things that I can explain in a sentence or two. I rattled off the entire story. Then I heard it.....the voice coming from behind the screen asking me questions. Actually the voice from behind the screen was asking the worker to ask me questions ( like I couldn't hear her). I decided to bypass the worker standing in front of me and just talk to the screen. The screen seemed to have more authority. The screen asked me if I had any paperwork with me. I asked her which volume she wanted. The worker took my paperwork to the voice behind the screen. I could hear whispers behind the screen and a lot of computer work, while I sat in the lobby cleaning out my purse and writing my grocery list. Finally the screen invited me in. She was smaller than I thought she would be, kind of like the wizard of OZ. She didn't look at me much and I could tell that it was best I didn't try to talk to her, just answer her questions as she asked them. Things were not working out for her and she had to go ask someone else behind another screen what to do. When she finally came back, she and the other screen had everything figured out. She fixed the mistakes that other workers had made and says: "Ok, she's approved starting with July." What????? That's it?????? Done???? I went in there expecting to get some answers to my questions, but that was it. I was ecstatic to find out that this process was finally done. Wellllll....I'm 99.9% sure it's done. I have her Medicaid card number, but I don't have the actual card in my hot little hands yet.

Although this process was long and frustrating, my experience with the workers I encountered was not that bad. Everyone I talked to was nice (even though they gave me wrong information). Maybe they were nice to me because I was nice to them and appreciative of their help. I'm sure their job is not that pleasant. A lady came into the lobby while I was behind the screen and I heard her entire sob story. I could tell by her voice she was frustrated and about at the end of her rope. They must hear stuff like that all day long. No wonder they don't want to deal with anyone in person. That lady was calm, but I'm sure they get more than their fair share of hot heads. I actually thought while I was sitting there that I hoped no one came in with a gun and started shooting the place up.

Anyone out there need any help with this kind of thing, let me know. I can at least tell you what not to do.

Now Where Is That....?

I think I have mentioned before that I can be a little obsessive. I'm better than I used to be, but none the less my anal retentiveness shows up occasionally. My issue is with not having all of the pieces or parts that go with a particular item. For example: my drill. I better have the drill, bits, and batteries. If I am missing one little drill bit it drives me crazy.

My ongoing obsession with missing pieces has spilled over into the toy area. I have a playroom set up for the grand kids. It's stocked with all kinds of toys with lots of pieces. My biggest obsession is with the 6 coins from a cash register. When I am putting toys away, there better be 6 gray plastic coins in the cash drawer or I am immediately stressed. I know it's dumb and irrational but I can't help it. If any are missing, I know they have to be in the house so I look for them until I find them. One time 3 coins were missing. I knew that Julian and Nicholas were the last ones to play with it so I called Bryan to see if they took them home with them. Sick I know! Sicker yet, I found out that Bryan hid them from me. I didn't care as long as I got them back. I have gone so far as to remove the coins from the cash register drawer before the kids played with it so they wouldn't loose them. I need help!

I currently have all of the coins, however; I am missing a blue ball from the popper, a stuffed kitty from the vet hospital and 1 piece of the 162 piece Lincoln Log set (I know because I counted them). If you have them or know where they are, please return them (no questions asked). My sanity is at stake here!

Do You Know The Shepawitz?

It was a busy weekend. The Shepawitz came to visit. "Who are the Shepawitz?" you ask. The Shepawitz aka the triplets. Nicholas still has a hard time with his "T's". Very funny and cute. Nicholas says Addy is his girlfriend. We're not sure how that will pan out. Technically she could be his girlfriend since they are not "blood" related, but both Julie and I think that we will try and discourage that relationship. Auntie Lorrie was here too! We had a good time just chillin. Our big outing for the weekend was going to Target. We all watched more than our share of Dora The Explorer. I'm a bad Nanu because when they asked for more Dora I told them she went on vacation. I didn't care what other cartoon we watched as long as it wasn't Dora. Again we were limited in our TV choices because guess what??????? Our Dish DVR wasn't working. We are now on DVR receiver #4. When the guys came out today they actually did some work outside on the lines which I think has been the problem the entire time. He supposedly upgraded our DVR with a different model. He said the one we had was a piece of junk. How reassuring. So far it's working. I'm a little bit happier too because I called and got a month's credit on my bill. I figured that was the least they could do.

Everything is quiet here now. I'm not sure what to do with myself. Julie is on the road back home. I hope the kids are cooperating for her. They were a little out of sorts when they left. I know how they feel though. It's always hard to travel and be away from your own bed.

I'm looking forward to going to Zumba, my pj's, a few glasses of wine and relaxing in front of the TV. The only thing that will be missing is the Shepawitz all sitting on my lap!

What The Heck Is That Noise?

Imagine fingernails across a chalkboard, a spoon scraping the sides of a Styrofoam cup, and grinding teeth. Not pleasant sounds; downright annoying. Now imagine the subtle squeak of a rocking chair; back and forth, back and forth.....squeek..squeek...squeek..squeek. Even though it is a "noise", it's rhythmic nature could lull you to sleep. Think about a mother rocking her baby, or your Grandmother rocking on the front porch of the 'ol homestead.

Now....put the squeaking noise together with an annoying circumstance and you get a little old lady grinding her teeth and making a noise that sounds like a squeaky rocking chair (wood rubbing against wood).

Bryan and I were visiting Mom yesterday. It was dinnertime so we took her to the dining room. The meal hadn't been served yet so Bryan and I sat at the table with her for awhile. We began hearing the above stated noise. A constant and rhythmic squeak. "What is that noise Bryan?" "I don't know!" "It's coming from that lady over there." "No way, it sounds like it's coming from the table behind her." "No Mom, look! the noise comes every time she moves her jaw." "There is no way that noise is coming out of a human mouth." "Watch her!" "I see, but I can't believe she can make that loud of a noise with such little movement of her jaw. It still sounds like it's coming from behind her. She must be a ventriloquist and she's throwing her voice." Bryan was pretty sure she was her grinding her teeth. I was still not convinced. I'd never heard anything like that before. All doubts were erased when one of the residents asked an aide about the noise. The aide confirmed that it was indeed her teeth. Amazing! Bryan figured that she's probably done it for so long that she has worn her teeth down to smooth nubs that could easily glide across each other producing that specific tone. Squeaking is ok coming from an old rocking chair, but not from an old lady.

I asked Mom if that noise was annoying to her? She says: "what noise?"

I'm Not Asking For Too Much...Am I?

If it weren't for the fact that I'm trying to deal with the VA and Medicaid for my Mom, this TV thing might drive me to the loony bin. The TV quit working last night, but it works today. Problem is I don't want to watch TV during the day. I reserve my days for staying on hold with the VA and Medicaid offices. I was on hold yesterday for a total of 67 minutes. I put the phone on speaker and carried it around with me from room to room while I waited for someone to answer. When they finally did answer it's was like starting all over from the beginning because everyone tells me something different. It's not necessarily that they give me wrong information, it's that they don't give me complete information. Every time I call it's like getting another piece of the puzzle. This is one of those 1000 piece puzzles with all blue sky. I'm at a stand still right now because Medicaid can't figure out if my Mom is eligible until the VA reduces her award and the VA won't reduce her award until she is approved for Medicaid. Really?????? How does this happen? I thought this only happened on TV to other people. But then again, how would I know that, my TV doesn't work. Mom's application for Medicaid should go through like diarrhea through a colon (sorry, being in the medical field that's the only analogy I could think of). My Mom has zero assets, zero savings and limited income from Social Security and the VA. It's a no brainer; however, somehow the government has figured out how to make it complicated.

If anyone reading this is close to having to apply for Medicaid for a loved one, my advice is to start ASAP. It takes time to sort through the bull shit. After all of this work I have put in, I may end up having to hire an attorney that specializes in Medicaid. That concept pisses me off.

I have to admit that I don't know much about the government run health care proposal. Short of reading the actual bill, I don't really listen to the arguments of Republicans or Democrats. I consider politicians to be a bunch of narcissistic individuals that want to promote their own agenda no matter how many lies they tell. I can't however, help but worry that if the health care system gets in the hands of the government it will be run like Medicaid and the VA system. We'll have to hire lawyers for our medical claims. I should have pushed for my kids to go to law school; at least they would have job security.

I'm happy, healthy and I have a great family. I don't want to be greedy, I just really want to be able to watch TV and know that my Mom is taken care of. That's all!

Zumba; It's Growing On Me

I went to my 4th Zumba class tonight. After the first class I wasn't really sure I wanted to try it again; however, subsequent classes have been much better. I think I'm getting the hang of it. It gets easier with each class. Even Queen L was dancing in my shadow. I was droppin it like it's hot all over the dance floor, shakin my money maker, flyin my freak flag, gettin my grove on, cuttin a rug, etc............... Be watching for me on Dance Fever...oh wait, that went off of the air in the 80's. What about Soul Train?




Update: TV not working again. yeah! :p

Again With The TV

I hate to keep beating a dead horse, but this horse is starting to stink. The DVR receiver went out on the TV AGAIN! I did all the requisite calling and trouble shooting over the phone. Dish wanted to send me a new receiver. I say "really? What are the odds that two receivers are bad?" My friend in India didn't understand the American terminology about odds, so I had to rephrase. He says: "We could send a technician out." "YES, PLEASE!" How exciting, a real person was coming to hopefully take care of the problem.

Orlando showed up at my door as scheduled. I explained the problem as efficiently as possible since all of the details are mind boggling. He replaced the receiver again (this is #3 in case you lost count). He surmised the problem was due to the fact that the initial installer hooked the satelite line through the surge protector which apparently is a no no. While he did a few more repairs and we waited for things to download, we had a nice chat. We discussed the bull shit that you have to go through to get to Dish customer service and the fact that the operators are located in India and/or the Phillipines. He said the operators have a standard script they read from. That's why when you ask a question their response usually doesn't fit the question. They can't deviate off script because in all reality they don't know shit.

Orlando and I became buddies. He left me the local phone number for any future repairs as well as his own cell number. He also showed me how to use some of the cool features. Then the best of all.....he spotted my old rabbit ears antenna and says: "You want me to show you something cool that I can do with them?" My first thought was that I hoped it didn't require him to use any of his body parts or mine.
When I was confident he was talking about doing something with them on the TV, I said: "sure!" He hooked up the antenna to the receiver and programed in the local digital channels. They now show up on the guide and the cool thing is that when the satelite goes out because of weather I can switch to the digital local channels and still get a picture. Orlando is my new TV guardian angel.

Everything is working at this moment in time. Whether it stays that way is up to the TV gods.

PS: If anyone has to call Dish Network for service, tell Raymond in India I said "Hi!" Tell him I won't be talking to him anymore because I got a new guy.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Laura, I hope you have a great birthday. I missed seeing you over Labor Day, but hopefully I'll see you in May!

Crochet Wars

I have not heard from the crochet Nazi, so I am assuming she realized she was wrong and an ass to boot. However, I have heard from another one of the crochet Nazi's commarades. Another totally random person sent me an email about using one of her patterns in a dress I made. "Really people do you have nothing better to do than harrass me about items I have for sale that I will probably never sell." People fucking suck! (I'm only being so vulgar because I've had a few glasses of wine and it's coming really easy). So I get this email; at least it's a little more sugar coated. This person just wanted me to mention that the dress was her design. She wasn't asking me to remove it. The funny thing is; that same person sent me another email that said: "Never mind, aparently the crochet magazine that I sold the pattern to now owns it, so you have no obligation to me." No shit Sherlock! Get over yourself you crochet idiots. Your patterns aren't complicated. You're not the Vera Wang of the crochet world. I ended up putting a disclaimer on my Etsy site so maybe people will leave me alone.

I put the two items in question at the top of my page as "features". It is definitely an in your face, kiss my ass kind of statement. It makes me feel better.

Technology

It's about 1:30am. I should be in bed, but I'm trying to wind down after setting up my new DVR. I should have let it go till tomorrow, but at around 10:30 I thought I would just set it up real quick and go to bed. I should have known better. I upgraded our Dish to HD with a DVR. It was great for about 24 hours and the DVR died. Not fixable, so Dish sent me another DVR to replace it. I got it all hooked up and went through all of the steps to get it up and running, then I had to call to have it activated. About 2 hours later I was finally done. I did however have a nice chat with Raymond from India. My satellite got activated from India, where according to Raymond it has been raining for the last 3 days straight. I also learned that he works the graveyard shift 1am - 10am. I was his last call of the day and then he was going home to bed. He's never seen snow before either, except in pictures. He complimented my voice. He told me I had the voice of a 20 year old. What a charmer. We had a lot of time for discussion while we waited for everything to download. Technology is so obscenely crazy good and so incredibly frustrating at the same time. After talking with my new friend Raymond for awhile, he transferred me to another department because I had some other bull shit to take care of. After I had explained what I needed from them and was put on hold for 5 minutes, they promptly disconnected me. Great! That's just great! I guess I'll call back again tomorrow after I've had a few hours sleep.

I have more crochet war information to share, but it will have to wait till tomorrow too.

ZUMBA

Zumba is a Latin inspired aerobic exercise style. It's been around for a long time. I actually have a VHS tape from back in the day. It's just recently becoming hot here in the Hoosier state. We always get the "in" things about 5 years later than most areas of the country. A new dance studio opened up on my side of town that offers classes. A few of my friends and Amanda have taken the class and said it is a lot of fun. I figured what the hell. I've done it before so I thought I knew what to expect. This was like no other Zumba class I have ever taken. It was a little Latin, a little Belly Dancing, and Hip Hop all rolled into one.

The instructor had more energy than a hip hop rabbit on crack. The music was loud and fast. Everyone was shoulder to shoulder. 40+ people in a 30' x 20' area. The room was hot and humid. She started quick and before I knew it bodies and bootys were shaking all over the place. I was next to Queen Latifah. She sauntered in a little late, ran into Amanda and then positioned herself at my side. Perfect! I was keeping up pretty well but I had to take a break about half way through. It was either step out for a moment or hurl and pass out in front of everyone. There was probably a 20 degree temperature difference between that room and the lobby. I took a few deep breaths of fresh air and headed back in. At least Queen L kept my spot open. I really wouldn't have wanted to tangle with her. She was a little bossy too. At one point both Amanda and I were going the wrong way and she yells; "left, right, left, right." WHATEVER! As if we were making her look bad. Her pants up her ass crack were already doing that. The class was an hour long. It felt like a week. I couldn't even keep track of the time because at one point the instructor's energetic dancing knocked the clock right off of the wall. I kept looking at it lying there on the floor. It seemed like time stood still. Wait....it did. The battery had fallen out of the clock. Phew! I thought I was in a time warp or something.

Standing next to Queen L and attempting these hip hop moves, I never felt so white. But I showed her. When it came time for the cool down and the stretching, my yoga experience payed off. I was a stellar stretcher! IN YUR FACE HIP HOP QUEEN!

The studio is having a special right now. If you pay for one month, you get one month free. Before class Amanda and I talked about doing that. After class Amanda asked if I was ready to sign up. I told her I'd have to get back to her on that.

Crochet Wars

The battlefield has been silent for a few days. I'm ahead at this point because I got corroboration from the Editor of the crochet magazine. Little Miss Crochet Nazi doesn't have a hook to stand on. Still waiting to hear from Etsy. Maybe she gave up and didn't report me after all. Maybe she was bluffing. To be continued.......

Love Letters

Time for another love letter. This is the actual letter. It's lyrics from a song from 1941 by Ella Fitzgerald. How romantic!
Listen to the song.....
Ella Fitzgerald

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Robbie and Shane! Hey Robbie, you're older than me! Just thought I'd remind you. I hope you both have a wonderful Birthday. If you have cheesecake, please send me a piece. Love you guys!

Technology Is Great.....When It Works

Now I remember why I go to great lengths to resist new technology. When it breaks it really pisses me off. Mostly because I know it's something that I can't fix myself which requires talking to service people. I don't like dealing with service people especially when I get the impression that I know more about the problem than they do. I read the manual and sometimes it's pretty obvious that they didn't. That's why when I do run across someone that actually knows the product and what they are talking about, I get all gidy and I want to kiss them. I refrain from the kissing but I make sure I tell them how much I appreciate their knowledge.

Which brings me to my current problem. I have my beautiful new flat screen TV and I upgraded to a DVR receiver. The receiver was installed yesterday. Worked great, except Joe hogged the TV all day. He was watching football, but I really didn't mind because the picture was so awesome I just liked looking at it. So I get up this morning and the DVR is making a humming noise (no it didn't hum anything I recognized). It wouldn't turn on either. That's just great! Less than 24 hours and it's not working. I do all the normal troubleshooting things....still doesn't work. I break down and call Dish Network. The guy was pretty pleasant. I almost believed him when he told me that he was sorry I was having problems. Long story short, the receiver is toast. A lemon. After he had me go through the steps that I already did, he determined that the receiver would need replaced. Unbelievable! He starts processing my order for a new receiver and begins to tell me of the $14.95 return charge and some other charge. Just as I was about to throw an F bomb in his face, he says "I will waive those charges since this is a brand new receiver." Yes, yes you will.

Tuesday Best Buy is coming to install all the other components, which I am not sure I can even test out since there is no antenna connection. I probably won't get the new receiver until Thursday. Ahhhhhhhhh! I know it's not the end of the world and I am thankful that I am even in a position that I can have these things. It's just soooooo frustrating. I feel intimidated in my own house by my electronic equipment.

I was reading an article in a magazine (HD Living) which apparently I now receive. It was actually an article about a guy who recently moved from California to Ft. Wayne and wanted to upgrade his current home theater system. He enlisted the services of Audio Visual Lifestyles and $90,000.00 later he had his upgrade. $90,000.00 for a HOME TV! I guess if you can spend $90,000.00 for TV equipment you can probably afford to hire a repair tech for 24/7 service. Hell, you could probably hire someone to work the remote.

I need to relax a little, maybe I'll go do some yoga. I just hope my DVD player works.

Crochet War Continued

It's soooo on. I got another email from the crochet Nazi. She's reporting me to Etsy! This really pisses me off!!!! After I recieved her original email, I responded by stating facts and copyright law. She sends a response: "We'll let Etsy
decide." She's reporting me to the principal. Being who I am, I can't wait that long (now I know where my children get their impatience from). So, I go to the Etsy FAQ section of rules and regulations. Right there in black and white it states that clothing is not protected by copyright because of it's "useful" aspect. I emailed her back and told her I had no problem with Etsy deciding and that I really didn't understand why she would publish a pattern if she didn't expect people to make it. Then of course I added the section of the Etsy rules. I can't wait to see what happens.

This is a prime example where some people (I'm not mentioning names) would point out that I am being argumentative and I should just drop it. Or I think I'm always right. So people I will break this down for you. (A.) I did not start this. (B.) I could just give in and say ok to her demands, but she is wrong. (C.) I know she is wrong because of the law. So now it becomes a "principle" thing. (D.) If I was wrong based on the law, I would not persue this and I would have taken the ad down right away. So see.....I don't always think I'm right, I only think I'm right when I know I'm right. When I know I'm right, I fight like a bull to prove it. It's inherited. My Dad had it, Steve has it and me too.

My Dad had integrity, which is what I strive for. Fighting for principles because they are true and honest. Not fighting just because you like to argue. He was always fair with people, but he didn't take their shit. There would be no greater compliment than for someone to tell me I'm just like my Dad.

You know what's really gonna suck though? It's if Etsy comes back and makes me take down my ad. I will have to point out their own rules to them, but if that doesn't work, then I'll just have to remove the ad..........and my entire store....because it's the principle of the thing.

Crochet Wars

Why do people have to start trouble???? I'm not even safe on my ETSY website. In case you don't know what ETSY is, it's a web site were you have your own "store" and sell handmade items. I have a bunch of crochet items I am trying to sell. I get a lot of comments by people that visit the site about how beautiful they are, but as of yet I haven't sold anything. That's ok though. I love to crochet and if I have to I'll start donating everything. So, today I get am email from someone that states: "Please remove your item for sale, it is my design from crochet magazine 2008. Thanks." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? The item in question is a pink scarf with the breast cancer symbol crocheted into it. First of all, I'm not selling her pattern which would be copyrighted. I'm selling a product that I made. That would be like McCall's (pattern seller) saying ok, buy our patterns, but you can't sell anything you make from them. Apparently they do say that, but it's not in the copyright law so therefore not enforceable.

For god sakes she had the pattern published in a magazine. A magazine that people buy to make things from. It's not like I'm mass marketing them. I have ONE for sale. If me selling it was illegal I would definitely take it out of my store, but since it's not I'm keeping it there and I might even make more.

Welcome To The 21st Century

We're finally moving up in the world to the current TV technology. Our old RCA box TV finally died and we purchased a 46" flat screen with surround sound and some other shit that I don't know what it is. I'm excited and scared at the same time. Excited because Joe doesn't have to use the binoculars to see the TV anymore, but scared because it's something else I have to learn how to use. I'm still trying to figure out my camcorder and telephone. Plus I'll have to teach Joe because he is a typical guy and won't read the instructions.

A giant man and his short chubby partner from Best Buy delivered my TV today. Kind of like Laurel and Hardy. The giant man was probably 6' 10" or more. Nice guys, set up the tv and did a little programming for me and left. The actual install is going to be next Tuesday. Then they will mount the TV on the wall and hook up all of the additional components. Problem #1: I forgot to call Dish Network to have our system upgraded to HDTV, so the picture currently isn't that good. Problem #2: I only get one channel. I know it's something to do with the program.........Wait! while I was typing this I just figured out what I need to do. Be right back.................................................................................
Problem #2 solved. I forgot that I need to use the remote for the Dish box. Duh!

Ok, so now I get all the channels but I still need the HDTV Dish hookup. I called Dish and they can hook it up on Saturday. Perfect, because then I will have all of the equipment there when Best Buy comes to install it. Now I have a new problem #2: I called Dish and told them I wanted HDTV hookup. All I heard after that was blah blah blah, blah blah, blah.... I was so confused I'm not sure what I agreed to. Good news though; since I am such a good customer she is taking $10 off of my bill for a whole year. WooHoo!

I long for the simplier times when a TV just had an on/off button. Sometimes I wish I was Amish. Then, I would be a really good carpenter and I wouldn't have to worry about electricity and all of the stuff that goes along with it.


PS Kenny, I took your advice and bought the TV you suggested. Can you please come back and teach me how to use it?

Coming Of Age

I'm kinda liking this 50 thing. I was really stressing about turning 50 for a few months before it happened. I don't know what I thought would happen, but I somehow convinced myself that this was the beginning of the end. The day came and went and nothing bad happened. I thought ok, maybe it's because my family is here and I'm having too much fun and once they leave "it" will happen. They left, and nothing bad happened. Actually I've been on a high ever since they were all here (and still am). It's been 2 weeks now and I'm probably happier than I've ever been. It's like somebody flipped a switch and I began to relax. Things that used to bother me don't anymore. I've been on a movement to a more kinder and gentler Patti for awhile, but it seems like it's finally happening. Bryan would disagree. He can still push my buttons and get me to react.

50 really is fabulous (or maybe it's just my medication). Either way, life is good!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Henry! Are you 4 already? Correction, only 3. I hope you have a wonderful birthday with your Mom and Dad. I miss you all! Love and Kisses from Indiana

Have You Had A Laugh Today?

Having the ability to laugh at yourself is one of the best traits one can possess. At least in my opinion. And we all know that everyone is entitled to my opinion....I mean their own opinion. I've called myself a "dumb ass" maybe even more than other people do. I don't take myself too seriously. If I did, I would be embarassed all the time. That is why Joe and I get along so well. We laugh all the time. At ourselves and each other. I told Joe yesterday that if he didn't do dumb things I would have no entertainment.

Today Joe took the car in for routine service and to have a small chip repaired in the windshield. He was talking to the mechanic about the chip. The mechanic says "yeah, we can fix that." Upon closer investigation the mechanic says "I don't think that's a chip." Joe says "I tried to see if it rubbed off like it was maybe dirt, but it didn't." The mechanic goes to the inside of the windshield and wipes off a dead mosquito. "There, all fixed." Joe actually made a special call to me just to tell me about his "incident" because he knew I would crack up. The best part was when Joe tells me: "I hope he doesn't find out that I'm a doctor."

Laugh at yourself today, it's good therapy. Go ahead and laugh at someone else too; just make sure you're out of the way when they try to punch you.

Love Letters

Letters from Dad to Mom

Monday October 30, 1944
Somewhere in Germany

Darling Vi

I am back with my unit again after a visit to Paris. Stayed in one of the hotels, had a god visit over the town. Rode the subway, there's carriages drawn by horses and little carriages drawn by bicycles. Saw the opera house, the famous arch, the Eiffel tower, and many other famous places. Oh yes I saw the Notre Dame cathedral. We left there on Saturday. Stayed in Rimes(?) France coming back. The weather here sure is turning cold. We should be getting our winter uniforms pretty soon. I got back and found six letters waiting for me. One from you darling, two from Bob, one from Mother McKee, Mother Moore and Dot McKee. I should be getting more very soon. I am receiving the mail ok now darling Thank goodness. I sure do look forward to your letters. They sure are wonderful letters.

Steve sure is gaining if he weighs over 15lbs now. I sure would love to see him. I would give anything to have you in my arms darling. I'm in the 1st army darling.

Enough for now.
All my Love Eddie
I AM YOURS FOREVER DARLING.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Kris! We missed you at our get together last weekend. I hope you have a wonderful Birthday! Love and kisses from Indiana.

Stop Already!

I can't be quiet anymore. It's driving me insane. What?? you say. Internet rumor emails. I love the Internet. It lets me stay in touch with my family and shop. Shopping on the Internet is way cool, but just like anything else, stupid people also use the Internet. So the stupid people make up blatant lies and circulate them through emails. What bothers me the most is the intelligent people I know forwarding them to me. I don't want to think that my friends are that gullible. 99.9% of the emails one receives with the large print type are not real. They get people all stirred up which starts discussions not based on fact. Case in point is the health care issue. Someone started a rumor that they were going to euthanize old people when their health got really bad. Seriously! No not going to happen. However; why would a doctor order diagnostic tests on say a 90 year old with diabetes and COPD on a ventilator? They SHOULDN'T! That would definitely be a waste of medicare dollars. As a nurse I've seen it happen. The waste I mean. I had a brain dead patient (not yet legally declared) but for all intents and purposes he was dead. He had a broken leg as well and the Orthopedic surgeons wanted to do surgery. Really???? Are you kidding me???? Waste of money, and it happens all the time.

The email that I received today that set me off was about gun control. It talked about how there is a bill that would require you to report every gun you own on your taxes. You would be taxed x amount of dollars. There were also other regulation that you would have to abide by in order to own a gun. It actually had a link to a government web site so you could read the proposed bill. I went to the government site, and there is no such bill by that number. Obviously the person that sent me that email didn't even investigate it before forwarding.

Moral of the story is: Don't believe anything you read and only half of what you see.
Also, don't send me any email propaganda unless it's a cute puppy.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Julian. I cannot believe you are already 6 years old. I still remember the first time I held you in my arms after you were born. You're a good boy and quite a hoot! I love you bunches and I hope you have a wonderful 6th Birthday.

Letters From The Past

Family nostalgia is on my mind since having everyone here last weekend and going through Mom's stuff. I thought I would share some of the interesting letters that I found.

I found this letter in a blank envelope with no date. It had to be from 1940ish, give or take a year. Here is the exact letter.

Dear Miss Moore,

You've got something pretty good in Ed. Hang on to him but watch the other gals cause he's just too darn beautiful to be true. Especially those eye lashes which I hope my gal never sees.

You must be pretty special too if what Ed says is only half true. He really loves you in case you're interested and no doubt you are.

Everyone here thinks that Magee is pretty much on the o.k. side.

In case you're wondering why you've received this, it's a little thing I'm trying to see how Mac trusts me. If you receive this, it means that he hasn't read it and if you don't, you won't be interested.

Another thing I meant to put on here is that he is really true to you.

Yours, (thru a mutual acquaintance)

Pvt. Moe Meyer

I'm still not sure if this letter was meant to reassure Mom how much Dad loved her from a third party perspective, or if it was a test of honor between Dad and this guy. Maybe both. I just think it's soooo cool how trust and honor and fidelity meant so much to them. That letter just struck me as so innocent and pure, something that seems so rare now.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday Delanie you little peanut! I'm so glad we finally got to meet you. You're a little beauty. Go crazy and tear into that cake....YOU'RE ONE YEAR OLD!
As Karl pointed out earlier I'm 50 times older than you. XXXOOO Lots of love from Indiana.

My Family Needs To Slow Down

On the 11th I posted a blog regarding speeding tickets. Well....today Bryan calls me and says he just got stopped for speeding. Nicholas was in the car. Apparently the cop started to walk back to his car when Nicholas asked the cop: "Are you a nice guy?" The cop stated that he was. Bryan got off with a warning. See, you just need a kid in the car with you at all times.

Everybody just slow down!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Amber! What does one do in Germany on their Birthday? You and your brothers are the most well traveled kids I know. I hope you have a wonderful day. Love and kisses from Indiana.

The Name Game

I was going through more of Mom's things. This time it was letters and cards. I swear Mom must have kept every card and letter she ever received. I found some interesting items that I will share with you over some future blogs.

As I went through old letters and newspaper clipping what struck me was the names of some of our relatives. Over the weekend we had had some conversations about baby names. So for future reference here are some family names for your consideration.

*Kate
*Emma, short for Emmaline
*Reece
*Christian
*Noel (not Noel as in Christmas. Pronounced Nole) I think they called him Noey. I'm pretty sure that Noel was a guy.
*Fenner

Fenner was the son of Emmaline Buck McKee and Henry P McKee.

Kind of unique names. I'm naming my next kid Fenner Reece Ottinger.

How To Get Out Of A Speeding Ticket

I forgot two important incidences that occured last weekend. Kyle got pulled over on his way here and received 2 tickets from Indiana's finest. One for speeding and one for an expired license. The latter is bogus since he has a military ID. Apparently the Indiana cop didn't know the law. I am assuming that that ticket will get thrown out. Then.....on the way home, Julie got pulled over for speeding. Children screaming and crying can tend to make one's foot a little heavy on the gas pedal. However, it can be a blessing in disguise. Apparently the cop was as frustrated as Julie trying to talk over the kids screaming that he just let her go. Perfect! Next time I'm with Joe in the car and we get pulled over I'm just going to start crying and see if it works. Next time Kyle you'll know what to do.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Lauren! I can't believe I remembered. I hope you have a wonderful day with Kenny and L. I love you bunches!

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Kyle and Carrie! Carrie you left you bouquet here, but don't worry I am enjoying them for you.

Labor Day Weekend Recap

I'm a little behind in posts, but I've been busy! After 16 hours sleep starting last Monday evening, and a good 8 hours the last 2 nights I think I'm good to go. What a great weekend! The only downfall was the uninvited guests. Not only were they annoying, they bit. Stupid mosquitoes. The weekend went by way too fast. There wasn't enough time to really visit with everyone. It still amazes me how our family is all spread out across the US but when we get together it's like we see each other all of the time. Joe said it's probably good that we don't live closer because with all of the antics that the boys pull someone would be getting hurt on a regular basis. Just for clarification when I say "boys", I don't mean the little ones. I mean the adult nephews.

Here is my abbreviated account of the weekends events.

Converged on Friday, got lost driving to the airport (Duh), laughed and hugged, ate beans, drank, raced go carts, ate more beans, viewed the ultrasound of Lauren and Kenny's precious baby, visited grandma, had a bonfire, got eaten alive by mosquitoes, drank some more, laughed our asses off, farted from the beans, ooh'd and ah'd over kids and babies, laughed and farted some more, watched an amazing video my children prepared for my birthday, cried and laughed, Shane farted, went to the farm, raced kayaks, drank, played games,jumped on the moon walk, Bryan beat me up with the boxing gloves on the moon walk (ouch), rode the 4 wheelers, shot guns, fished, ate lots of good food (especially the cheesecake that I ate with my fingers because I didn't want the fork to distract me from the yumminess), drove home in the rain, was sad there was no bon fire, drank, played cranium, Shane and Kyle cheated, Lauren gritted her teeth, watched kayak race videos on my computer because my TV broke (yah!), Shane, Kenny and Karl tried to blow up their lungs with an air pump, had to open windows to fumigate the house from the methane gas, got up early to take back moonwalk, got pissed because the a-holes weren't there, Dunkin Donuts closed for the day, took lots of pictures, hung out, everyone got ready to leave, There may have been more farting but I'm not sure (we were too sad to fart), tears and hugs, last group to the airport at 5:30, Delanie wanted to stay with me, went home, sooooooo sad that it was all over, went to bed, slept 16 hours.

I'm sure I missed something because it was definitely a busy fun filled weekend.

I have to tell everyone how touched I am that you took the time and effort to travel here and be here for my birthday and all of the festivities. This has been the best birthday of my entire life! I missed everyone that couldn't be here. Because we all live so far apart we could easily be out of touch and I don't want that to happen. I credit Lauren with helping us all stay a part of each others lives (and face book). She's relentless with her emails (I mean that in a good way). I want to thank my local family for all the help preparing for this weekend and Brian ,Lorrie and Julie for being so accommodating with all the craziness. Bryan and Amanda, the video you made for me is the most precious gift I have ever received. You're the best!

I love you all and will cherish these memories for the rest of my life.

PS: I'm still trying to figure out my new camcorder. I will have a funny video asap.

Happy Anniversary

September is a busy month for Birthdays and Anniversaries.

Happy Anniversary to Lisa and Walt and Karl and Monica. I think it's probably 5 years for Lisa and Walt and 4 years for Karl and Monica. I hope you all have a great day. I love you all lots!!!!!!!

Correction! Both have been married 4 years.

It's Started Already

Well it's happened. I recieved my first senior citizen solicitation by mail. AARP sent me a membership card and application. Funny thing though; I've already been a member for about 10 years because of Joe. The letter actually came addressed with my former last name so I just pretended it wasn't me. Yes I'm in denial. I don't feel old. I still find it weird when people call me a Grandma. Also lately I've been getting a lot more emails related to being old (thanks Jan). Just for the record, I'm fighting this old thing for as long as I can. By the way, do I get free coffee at McDonald's yet? I'm gonna use the hell out of any senior citizen discount that I can!

Rain Rain Go Away

I didn't sleep much last night agonizing over the weather this coming weekend. I checked AccuWeather.com before I went to bed and it showed rain on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I spent most of the night trying to figure out plan B for the party. I really try not to fret over things I can't control, but I want everyone to have a good time. Plus I can't put the moon walk/boxing ring up if it rains. I'm really looking forward to punching Bryan in the nose. Maybe not his nose, I don't want to ruin his pretty face. My agony gave way to joy this morning when I checked the forecast again, and it changed. Now it's going to be partly sunny the whole weekend with only a 10% chance of rain. I even checked two different weather sites. I know it could change again, but for now I am going to relax a bit about the weather.

I can't wait to see everyone. Relatives and friends from Tennessee, Ohio, Michigan, Missouri, Illinois, Colorado and California. You have no idea how much it means to me to have you take time out of your lives to travel here and be a part of a milestone in my life. I love you all!
Wait.....are you coming to see me, or are you coming for the free food and moon walk?
Don't answer that, it doesn't matter. I still love you.

I'm pretty sure that Connor, Addison and Harrison are coming for the 4 wheeler.

Choices

Do we really need 15 different ways to clean our toilets? I was clipping coupons today and noticed how many different products there are to clean your toilet. You can use wands, pads, scrubbers, wipes, drops, gels, cakes, and probably many more. What happened to go 'ol rubber gloves and a little elbow grease. Way too many choices. That's my problem, I don't know what to choose. Which one works the best? Which one is the most environmentally friendly? Which one is the cheapest? Ahhhhhhhhhh! I can't take it! I go to the store with a list and the minute I walk in I am overwhelmed. No wonder I hate shopping so much. It's information overload. I want to buy a camcorder but I'm afraid. What if I pick the wrong brand? What if I don't pick the right features? My personality doesn't fit with so many choices. I have a need to try to do everything right and with so many choices it makes it difficult to maintain perfection.

As far as the toilet cleaners go, I chose scrubbing bubbles fresh brush. It has a wand with little pads that can be flushed after you are done. They are ok for the inside of the toilet bowl, but what about the rim, seat and outside of the toilet? I have to choose another product for that. This debate will never be over because just about the time I finally choose, there will be a new product available that claims to be the best ever.

Countdown To The Party

The food is ordered, rooms are reserved and according to AccuWeather.com it should be 75 and partly sunny. I think I have most everything ready for the Labor Day party. I'm soooooo excited. The only thing that is slightly bumming me out is the weather up to this point has been so wet that I can't get the stones put around the lake. If you've been to the party in the past, you know that it's pretty soggy and mucky by the lake. This year we decided to bring in stones to help keep the lake edge from eroding and to have a solid place to stand when getting in the kayaks for the race. Right now I have a 5 foot high pile of field stones sitting about 50 feet from the edge of the lake. It's too soggy to bring a bobcat in to move the rock to the lake edge. I've thought about doing it by hand (and I still might) but I'm hoping for a few days of dry weather so I don't have to. I've already been out in the boat around the shore line with hedge trimmers cutting down the tall water grasses. Don't worry, they weren't electric trimmers. I want to have a clear path for the kayak race. I expect lots of participation this year. Since Bryan and I won't be a team, it will give everyone else a chance. Ha Ha! Seriously though we did kick ass. However, since our win last year was met with less than enthusiasm I decided we need to do something different. We will draw teams randomly so everyone will have a fair chance. I can't help it that Bryan and I are just superior athletes. It's a curse that we have to live with daily. Be fore warned that when Bryan and I are competing against each other, we fight. So it could get ugly. I'm just sayin.

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Julie and Michael. I hope you have a wonderful day. Can't wait to see you! Love you bunches!

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary Bryan and Sarah. I know that Bryan worked late tonight and Sarah had to go to work before he got home. I'm not sure they saw much of each other today. But I know they celebrated earlier in the week. Something about Sarah getting Black and Bleu. Ohhhhh, she was talking about steak. Well anyway, Happy Anniversary. I love you both!

Biology 101

Julian and Nicholas caught some tiny toads in my yard today. They put them in containers with grass and sticks. I'm gonna call Nicholas; "Lenny", you know, Of Mice And Men fame. He dropped his toad one too many times and gave it some tight squeezes. "Nanu my frog won't move, is he sleeping?" "Oh dear, why don't you let him go in the flower bed and maybe he'll wake up."

I recieved a science lesson from Julian. He asked me if his toad was a boy or a girl. I told him I had no idea how you tell. He turns the toad upside down and pulled it's little legs apart. (This toad was no bigger than a quarter.) He says: "I know how you tell. If it has a black penis then it's a boy and if it has a pink penis it's a girl." "Really? I never knew that." For all I know he could be right.