Freedom Of The Road

Riding my motorcycle today!!!!Feeling the exhilaration of the power and speed and the wind rippling against my jacket. Wait a minute.............I'm not wearing a jacket. Son of A...That's me rippling in the wind. Time to step up my yoga workouts.

Whaaaaat???

I have a dicky. It's not new though, it used to be my Mom's dicky. She doesn't need her dicky anymore. I washed my dicky and it looks like new! Some dickys slip right on, but I have to button my dicky on. My dicky is white and pointed on the end. I wish I had a black one too. No one knows when I have my dicky on, that's the fun of it. Sometimes my dicky gets to close to my face. I don't like that. I prefer my dicky around the neck. Maybe when I'm done with my dicky I can pass it on to Amanda. It's good to keep your dicky in the family. You don't want just anyone using your dicky. I love my dicky and I use it often. Would you like to see my dicky???? Scroll to the bottom of the page.

Life On The Inside

I got a call from the nursing home. Judy the Social Services Director says: "Do you have a minute?" I'm thinking "SHIT, what is going on????" "Sure, what's up?" I hear: sssscccczzzzfound cccczzzzssssknife zzzzzcccccssssMom's ssssccczzzroom. "Wait Judy I have to change phones I can't hear you very well. Did she just say something about a knife? "Ok, now I can hear you, what did you say?" "We found a couple pair of scissors and a knife in your Mom's room and we can't have that here." What the hell? Is Mom planning on overpowering the aides and making a break for it? Or is she planning on shanking her roommate for a pack of cigarettes? Or worse yet, do they have a zero tolerance policy on weapons and now they are going to expel her? (Think fast Patti you have to get her out of this.) "They aren't hers Judy, they are mine." "Ok then, I'll have them in the office and you can pick them up the next time you visit."

The scissors were there just because she had them at her other place in a cup with pens and pencils. I'm pretty sure the knife in question is actually a letter opener. It never occurred to me that they would be considered contraband. I'm just wondering who ratted her out to the warden??????

Celebrations Abound!

Wow! Today is a popular day. Birthdays and Anniversaries. Dreama Belle is 97 years old today. NINETY SEVEN! 97! Other than some osteoporosis and a little memory loss, Dreama is still a ball of fire. I Love You Dreama Belle, Happy Happy Birthday.

Chris O. birthday was yesterday. Happy Birthday Chris. Hope to see you and Esta and Orion at the party!

Happy Anniversary to Steve and Robbie. I'm pretty sure it's 27 years. I remember that because I didn't get to come to the wedding because I was pregnant with Amanda and she was due any day. I also remember your courtship. I'm glad Steve was smart enough to marry you Robbie. Love you guys and have a happy day!

R*E*S*P*E*C*T

Another interesting day at the 'ol nursing home. I just realized tonight that I've only seen two men as residents since we moved Mom in, which probably substantiates the claim that women outlive men. Sorry guys. Although it may not be a bad thing guys because you miss out on the interesting dementia behavior that seems to befall most 80 somethings. I visited Mom after 6pm this evening. I had forgotten about a little syndrome known as "sundowner's." Some people with dementia have a heightening of their symptoms at night. Other people who don't exhibit symptoms of dementia during the day will experience them at night. There seemed to be a sundowner's convention this evening. I was stopped by 3 ladies in the hall all trying to find their way to their rooms. Ruth was pacing and smoothing the wallpaper as she went. Lois was carrying her belongings in a basket trying to find a place to put them. Lois is the same lady that keeps trying to get into Mom's bed. Fortunately she hasn't tried when Mom was in it. I felt like I was in a movie. I stood at the end of the hall and watched this seemingly deliberate behavior but knowing in my mind that there was nothing deliberate about it. It's painful to watch, and it's hard to know how painful emotionally it is for them because they cannot clearly verbalize their inner feelings. I like to think that they are happily oblivious as to their state of mind.

Tonight is shower night. I got the wrinkled nose look from Mom. She doesn't like the shower. It has too many rooms and you have to run like hell to get out of there when your done. So she says. I really would like to see her run like hell. I tried to convince her to grin and bear it because it was a necessity, all the while thinking that I would hate it too. I had the aides show me the shower room. It's probably a step up from a prison shower. At least it has a curtain. The loss of control one must feel in that situation must be unbearable.

Patti's TOTD #13: Treat your elders with the respect they deserve. They aren't being slow just to piss you off. Keep in mind at all times that you too will be in their shoes one day. Most importantly don't talk down to them. They aren't idiots, they are old and probably wiser than you will ever be.

PS: Joe gives this a thumbs up.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I have to share these quips of Jax's because the kid is hilarious. These statements were made within a 24 hour period. The kid is on a roll.

Amanda said that Jax just got up and says: "I just gotta take a deep breath." Then he breaths in through his nose and pushed is lips way out. I think he got that from me; yoga stuff.

Amanda had fed him breakfast then brought him a piece of bacon. "Mommy, I just love a tasty treat." He probably got that from Joe. Joe loves his tasty treats.

Jax saw a picture of a model on a Victoria Secret catalog and says: "Oh I love the naked girl!" I'm sure he got that from Brad.

Considering he's only 2 I think he's amazing. Not that I'm partial or anything.

Ball Of Negativity

It's 3:30am and I can't get back to sleep. I had a bad dream about something invisible touching my hand while I was in the garage at the house I grew up in. Weird!!!! Once I woke up I couldn't get back to sleep ruminating over everything....Mom, the Labor Day party, being 50, kids, grand kids, sagging neck, etc... Pretty much everything I have no control over. I'm normally pretty good about letting things go that I can't change, but only after I've bitched about it for awhile. Lately though I seem to hold onto all of the negative aspects without looking at the positive side. I think it's because so many things are happening at once so it's all becoming one big negative ball rolling downhill. How do I stop the ball without getting rolled over? Ok...for every negative thought I will verbally state a positive thought.

I'll start with a biggie: (-) The Mom that I've known and loved my whole life is not there anymore.
(+) I have the opportunity to take care of my mother like she took care of me growing up.

(-)I feel overwhelmed with "stuff", unorganized and cluttered. I'm sick of so much stuff.
(+) I am thankful that I have things surrounding me that hold memories and I am most thankful for the people that made those memories.

(-) You're only as happy as your unhappiest child. Why can't I fix everything for my children and keep my grandchildren safe.
(+) If I try and fix everything they would never become strong independent individuals. They have to live and make mistakes on their own. As much as it hurts sometimes, I have to let them. My kids (that includes step-kids) are strong, independent, responsible, loving and incredible! They impress me every day.

(-) I'm getting older. I hate it. I hate everything about it. It's cruel.
(+) I'm alive, in good health and all of my needs are met. I'm the luckiest girl in the world!

(-) I have so much to do for the party. What if I forget something? What if I do something wrong and piss someone off? It has to be perfect.
(+) Nothing is ever perfect. It's the flaws that make it memorable. My family is going to be together so no matter what it's going to be great!

(-)My skin is aging. My chin is sagging. Nothing is where it used to be. I feel strong and confident on the inside but the outside packaging is not as good as it used to be.
(+) I got nothin!......Oh, here's something: At least I know a good plastic surgeon.

This is something I came across awhile ago and I'm always preaching it to my kids because I believe it to be true. I need to take my own advice.

"The law of emotion states that any thought held in the mind and charged with emotion is rapidly accepted by the subconscious mind, activating all the other mental laws, turning inner though into outer reality." So in other words, don't be a negative Nellie!