Joke From The 40's

I found this old joke in Mom's stuff. Not completely politically correct, but none the less funny.

Love Letters

How beautiful is this!!!!!!!(click on the letters to view them larger.)

Crochet Subculture

The craft show I exhibited at was a success. I made over $200! $200 will buy a lot of yarn. It was fun having everyone ooh and aah over my stuff. Sometimes people's reactions surprise me. Crochet seems so simple to me and they make me feel like some kind of yarn god. I guess it's like anything else, the more you do it the easier it is. People who have never crocheted are amazed. People who do crochet act not impressed and are sometimes even rude. I call them crochet snobs. Crochet snobs are different from crochet Nazis. Nazis want to be important so they share their designs, but they want control over who makes them. Then you have the snobs that think they can do better than everyone else; or even if they can't they try to make it seem so. I used to be a selfish crocheter. Everything I made I wanted to keep. I couldn't bear parting with things or even selling things. I could never charge what the items are worth based on the time involved. No one would buy them. I have pretty much come to terms with my selfishness. Mainly since most of the things I make now are for babies. If I don't sell or give away the baby items, I will have to rent a storage space to keep them. Still, however; if I make something like an adult size sweater, I keep it for myself. Anything that takes a long time stays with me. I could keep a small village warm for the winter with the amount of shawls, ponchos and sweaters I have made that are stuffed in a storage box under my bed.

I like making items for babies because they are soooooo cute and tiny. They generally don't take a long time to make relative to making something for an adult of the same pattern. Also, people tend to keep handmade items that their babies wore as heirlooms or keepsakes. The chance of a next generation wearing one of my crochet creations is likely. I like that idea. I guess that makes me somewhat of a crochet narcissist.

Happy Birthday

I didn't forget to wish Joe a Happy Birthday on the 8th, but I didn't have time to post it. I was too busy catering to his every whim. He got breakfast in bed, a professional massage, three tiered birthday cake, gourmet dinner, and I let him have the big TV all day so he could watch horse racing. He was in birthday heaven. I am such a good wife!

I lied, he only got the last two things. Listening to horse racing all day was a huge sacrifice for me, so yeah; I am a good wife.

Happy Birthday my little love bug!

Almost A Tragedy

I have a scary story to tell you, but if you read this you have to promise not to tell Joe.

I've been doing a very good job taking care of Ellie while Joe is in Florida. I don't hold her and carry her around as much as Joe, and I admit I don't watch her as closely as Joe when she is outside but none the less she is pampered compared to most dogs. Joe is coming home tomorrow so it's only a matter of hours before Joe and Ellie are reunited and I can relax a little. You see, I'm still convinced that if anything ever happened to Ellie that was my fault, I would be kicked to the curb.

With that in mind, you will understand why the events of this evening could have changed the entire course of my marriage.

I had Ellie dressed in a sweater to help keep the chill off while her and I were out in the yard. I went to the barn to see if I had another squirrel in my live trap (the count is up to 4). Ellie followed me into the barn which kind of surprised me because the chickens were in there too. She was sniffing around while the chickens were doing their thing. I even thought that it was good that Ellie and the chickens could finally be in the same area without an incident. When I first got the chickens Ellie tried to take a stand and show them who was boss. The chickens however had a different idea and chased Ellie until she was a quivering ball of fur. Ever since then Ellie kept her distance.....until today.

So, Ellie and the chickens are close to each other but not interacting at all. I make the mistake of talking to Ellie which got her a little excited. I said: "You're not gonna get the chickens are you?" I think she heard "get the chickens" and she made a little attempt at intimidation by doing a little lunge toward one of them and letting out a little growl. Now, if Bear (who weights 45 lbs.) lunges at the chickens, they run. When Ellie (who weighs 5 lbs) lunges at the chickens, they attack. In a split second, the chicken that Ellie lunged at ran away a few steps then turned around and jumped on top of Ellie who by this time had rolled over on her back in submission. The chicken is on top of Ellie with it's wings flapping and squawking. It reminded me of the Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kingdom episodes where they showed huge birds grabbing their prey from the ground and taking off. By the time I got to Ellie, the rest of the chickens were ganging up on her and jumping on top of her as well. I'm screaming: "DON"T KILL HER!!!!!!" I grab Ellie; who is now in a tight little ball, from the midst of the chicken frenzy. Surprisingly she isn't shaking and seems actually calm. She's probably in shock.

I think the whole event looked worse than it really was, so I didn't feel so bad when I started to laugh uncontrollably. I was laughing out of relief that she was ok and that I wouldn't have to find another place to live. She doesn't have a scratch on her. I'm pretty sure the sweater saved her from claw marks. Joe never need know of the events of today. It would only hurt him. Remember you promised to keep this a secret. Some things are just better left unsaid.