Sweating With the Oldies

So....the ladies of the RV park across the street from our condo have organized an exercise group for everyday of the week except Sunday. They have yoga and aerobics. I was so excited when I found out. Now I have no excuse not to keep up on my workouts. That's the upside. The downside is that it's starts at 8:00 am. Not a huge fan of morning workouts. The other downside is that the average age of the residence of the RV park is probably 70, so the aerobic DVD that we followed today was: Richard Simmons and the Silver Foxes. Need I say more? Actually it wasn't that bad, I just used hand weights and pumped up the intensity a little bit and I was sweating in no time. The yoga video we did on Friday was really pretty intense. I was afraid I would have to untwist some of the ladies if they actually did the poses. It's kind of a mental boost to be in a group of people where I'm the youngest of the bunch. All of the ladies (and one guy) welcomed me into their group. They are all very nice, except they kept trying to talk to me while we were working out. I found out that I can't move my legs, arms and mouth at the same time without messing up. Who knew?

Tomorrow we're doing the "Geezer Glide" and the "Geriatric Jump". Then their is the "Senior Salsa" and the "Old Fart Flamingo". Not really, I made those up. Maybe I'm on to something. I could make my own line of workout DVD's.....hmmmmmm!

Thoughts During A 20 Hour Drive

I misplace my reading glasses constantly even in a confined space like the car. Couldn't find them for 1/2 of the trip.

All the snowbird ladies at the rest stops wear Capri pants with some kind of print on them and cardigan sets.

Old men have no peripheral vision and can't turn their heads far enough around to see cars behind them. I think they just pull out and hope for the best.

Florida is called the Sunshine State. It should be called the "We Bare All" State. Every other billboard is for a gentleman's club.

At least I can still attract the attention of the old guys and truckers. Truckers look at anything female.

Why is it called a highway? Are there lowways? The British call them motorways. That makes more sense. And.....why are driveways called driveways when we park in them and we drive on Parkways?

Why has no one come up with an appropriate method of peeing in your car? Cups don't work. Not that I've ever tried.

When there are 3 lanes of traffic, why do the slowest people drive in the 2 left lanes?

Ironic! I get to Florida and I get a cold.

Why don't they call them Potty areas instead of rest areas? More people potty than rest.

I think they should provide Yoga instructors at truck stops. Those truckers must get awful cramped up and sore from driving all the time. I can just hear the truckers on their CB radios: "Namaste good buddy!" "How's your downward dog posture coming there Bud?" "Catch ya on the road to spiritual enlightenment."

I'm sure glad I brought 8 liters of wine, they didn't have my brand here.

Thank God we made it here in one piece.

Photos

Go to the photo gallery. I've been practicing with my new camera.

Speaking of Hotels

I never used to mind going to hotels on vacations. When Joe and I first got married, he would get free vacations through his "connections". So we stayed in some nice hotels. I rather enjoyed it. Joe's connections have since dried up, so no more nice vacations in nice hotels. In the last 4 or 5 years I have come to abhor hotels. They are dirty and disgusting and all I think about is the nastiness that goes on in them and the fact that I am sleeping in the same bed. I wear flip flops the entire time, even in the shower. I made Joe start wearing shoes all the time too because he has a habit of scuffing his bare feet across the carpet. GROSS! As we were driving down to Florida the other day, I had an epiphany! I told Joe: "I just figured out that it's not that I don't like hotels in general, I just don't like the ones you take me too!" His response? "You can't expect a two star husband to take you to a four star hotel. Touche!

Police Arrest Indiana Physician at Florida Hampton Inn

AP WIRE NEWS RELEASE:
A prominent Indiana Doctor was arrested Thursday morning at a Florida Hampton Inn on suspicion of smuggling and fraud. Dr."O"no and his wife; Alpha Doe were taken into custody as they were leaving the hotel. 5lbs of.....Chihuahua was found to have been smuggled into the "no pet" hotel room. The said Chihuahua going by the name of Ellie, was also charged with resisting arrest when she bit the arresting officer. Ellie will be quarantined pending trial. The fraud charges stem from parking in a handicapped space while fraudulently using a handicap placard. The handicap placard belongs to the subjects mother-in-law who was not traveling with the couple. Alpha Doe was released after questioning when it was determined that she was innocent of the charges and that her husband was working alone. Through her tears, Alpha Doe is quoted as saying: "I told him not to do it. He doesn't think straight when it comes to Ellie. She's the other woman in our marriage."

After his arraignment, Dr. "O"no pleaded guilty to all charges with the stipulation that he and Ellie be incarcerated together. Dr."O"no was sent to an undisclosed Florida prison. Upon arrival to his cell, he found Ellie curled up sleeping with his cell mate; Bubba. Dr."O" was heard yelling: "You Bitch! After all I've done for you, you treat me like this?" Dr. "O"no had no comment when asked about his outburst. According to Bubba; however, "It's not Ellie who's the bitch." Attempts to reach Alpha Doe by phone have failed; however, she could be seen on the balcony of her Florida condo drinking Mohitos served by Juan the pool boy.

Happy Birthday Connor, Harrison & Addison

Happy Birthday Babies!!!! You aren't really babies anymore. 3 years old today! Eat lots of cake so you can gain a few pounds and next time Nicholas tackles you, you can roll him over and pin him. Or better yet you could just all gang up on him. Just kidding! Nanu and Papa Joe miss you very much. We hope you have a great birthday, and we love you.

Aren't Vacations Supposed To Be Relaxing??

I am attempting to pack for our month long excursion to Florida. I don't think Joe has any idea what a pain in the ass it is to get ready to go. Maybe he has a little idea, because I bitch about it enough. Joe will pack one little bag with a few books and he's good to go. I wish it were that easy for me. Household obligations don't stop just because you go out of town. Stop the mail and newspaper, forward the mail, bring everything that has to do with paying bills for us and our mothers, pack the food, anticipate what we will need for the next month, close down the house, etc.........It's not really a vacation for me. I was up at 4am today just thinking about all of the stuff I need to do. I will however acknowledge the fact that I am responsible for bringing on some of the headaches and stress associated with our trips to Florida. I am an organizer and somewhat of a clean freak. Those qualities can be stressful at times. I feel the need to be perfect and not forget to do anything. I have to feel like everything is done and organized appropriately. Which in turn creates more work. Plus, I have to have stuff to keep me busy. That means I have to take crochet stuff and whatever little project I am working on with me. Then there are the electronic gadgets: cell phone, ipod, computer, nintendo ds, portable dvd player, cameras, video recorder.....which all have chargers and other cables. Each one is organized in it's own case or carrier for easy access. Then there's the packing for Ellie and I haven't even gotten to my personal care items and clothes yet. Oh yeah, I can't forget my yoga and pilates DVDs, and my roller blades. Gotta keep up with working out so I don't lose any ground. I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe I will go back to bed. Forget that, I won't be able to sleep. Now where did I put my flip flops???? Aaaaaaaahhhhh!

PS: I forgot to mention the how much I will miss my grandbabies and my chickens! Oh, my kids too.

Barbie Is 50

I was born the same year as Barbie. So was Simon Cowell, Danny Bonaduce, Fabio, Jessica Hahn and Marie Osmond; just to name a few. I'm pretty sure we've all had a little work done especially that bitch Barbie. The top photo is how she looks now, left photo is of her in 1959. I actually had the 1959 Barbie. I think Steve got it for me. I wish I still had it, it's worth thousands of dollars now. One sold on e-bay a few years ago for over $3500.00. If you examine her photos of today versus 1959, you can tell she's had work done. She never used to have a belly button so for sure she's had a tummy tuck. Her eyes also look a little lifted at the corners so I'm pretty sure that indicates a possible face lift or at the very least an eyebrow lift. She's probably had some chemical peels as well because she should have some sun spots on her face from all of that time she has spent in Malibu. It's a fact to that blondes don't age as well as brunettes. Her ponytail is probably a little tight too. That helps give the appearance of smoother facial skin. I actually have a hair clip that not only pulls up my hair but my face as well. I wear it when I'm feeling old. Instant face lift. This photo of Barbie is how she would look had she not had any work done.

Happy 1 Year Blogaversary To Me

It's my 1 year blogaversary!!!! Happy Anniversary to WHADDUP DOE! It's also change your clock time. Good thing I didn't have to be anywhere today because I would have been late. Time already goes too fast, I hate that I just lost an hour. I'll work double time so I can make it up.