HOV

We arrived safely in Florida; at least I think it's Florida. It's 50 degrees and apparently isn't going to get much warmer for the next 4 or 5 days. First thing we did when we got here was turn on the heat. No sunbathing today!

There was no excitement on the last leg of our trip (thank God!) The carpool lane debacle was enough excitement for the rest of my life. I was surfing for photos of "HOV"(high occupancy vehicles) lanes or carpool lanes as they are more commonly called. I wanted to see if I could find anything that looked like what we almost drove off. I didn't find any pictures, but what I did find was an article from 2007 about the Atlanta motor coach accident that killed member of a baseball team from Ohio. Reading the article was not only sad, but it freaked me out a little bit. The bus was in Atlanta, which is where we were and the accident happened because of insufficient markings on the HOV exit; which is what happened to us. Supposedly after the 2007 accident signage was supposed to change to be more accurate and easier to follow. Well....I don't think they did a very good job. Like I said in yesterdays blog there was nothing to indicate that the road split or there was an embankment ahead. There have been quite a few accidents with regards to the HOV lanes, and most have been from people not living in the area. I didn't even know what HOV stood for. I had to have Sarah look it up for me.

I'm just really thankful that our experience with the HOV lane had a happy ending. I'm mad at Atlanta!

Stay Out Of The Carpool Lane

We are 2/3 of the way to Florida. Tonight we are staying in Valdosta Georgia. The trip so far has been uneventful unless you count our near death experience; oh yeah and the fact that I went the wrong way on the highway. No, I wasn't on the wrong side of the road I was heading North instead of South. Joe was driving during our near death experience.

I was messing with the GPS and not paying attention to where Joe was going. We were in the middle of Atlanta. He says: "I'm not sure I'm going the right way." "Why not?" "Because the traffic is over there and we are over here." "Ohhhhhh." Turns out we were in the carpool lane. No problem, we'll just merge over when the road comes back together. Yes, there was a problem....before the road came back together it split. One second we are in a normal lane, then without warning we're going up an incline with a drop off on the other side. You know how normally when a road splits there are yellow lines on the road or some other kind of warning. There was nothing. We went up the incline slanting toward the drivers side. I thought for sure we were going to tip over. Joe drove like Dale Ernhart Jr. maneuvering us to safety. I was surprised that neither of us screamed like little girls. It was so quick we didn't have time. I would rate that experience in the top 3 of scary driving moments. I told Joe that it was very exciting, but I would prefer if he didn't do that again.`

We are safe and sound for the rest of the evening. Our drive tomorrow will be daylight hours so that will be better. The worst thing that can happen tonight is if I have to get up in the middle of the night and I forget that I am in my cootie proof sleep sack I might hurt myself trying to get out of bed.

Drop It Before There is Blood Shed!

Driving in a car for extended periods of time makes me irritable. Especially when Joe tries to eat my food. Under the best circumstances I am protective of my food. I don't like to share. One of my first dates with Joe, we went to dinner with his kids. The food came, and everyone starting eating off of each others plate. Not in a terrible ravenous way or anything. It was polite, but forks were still reaching everywhere. I thought: "What do I do????" I wanted to say: "Back away from my plate!" Rebelling at that moment in time could have been detrimental so in hindsight I am glad I kept my trap shut. It all worked out and actually I have become more accustomed to the Ottinger eating method when dining out. Joe and I actually share many meals out. However, when I pick out specific food for me I become possessive of it. I buy light potato chips sometimes. Joe will eat regular chips so I don't have to share my diet chips. Unless of course there are no other chips around. He tried to take some chips in the car and I slapped him. I bitch slapped him hard! Ok, maybe not that hard, but it wasn't a pussy slap. Before everyone gets in a tizzy, I slapped his hand not his face. Then there was the banana. Bananas have a small window of perfect ripeness. Not hard, not too soft and no visible bruises. I picked out one such banana from the hotel breakfast bar. Joe picked out a banana too. His was much less pristine. Our bananas lay side by side on the console between the car seats. Joe aimlessly reaches for a banana and grabs my perfect specimen. "Seriously Joe, did we not just have the banana conversation???" My hand quickly reached for his hand. It wasn't quite a slap this time, it was more of a grab that said: "make one more move with my banana and you will regret it." He quickly releases the banana and the incident ends peacefully. I told Joe; "sometimes I'm like a firecracker waiting to go off"!
Joe said; "I'm trading you in for a couple of cherry bombs. They only blow smoke."

Thoughts During A 20 Hour Drive

I misplace my reading glasses constantly even in a confined space like the car. Couldn't find them for 1/2 of the trip.

All the snowbird ladies at the rest stops wear Capri pants with some kind of print on them and cardigan sets.

Old men have no peripheral vision and can't turn their heads far enough around to see cars behind them. I think they just pull out and hope for the best.

Florida is called the Sunshine State. It should be called the "We Bare All" State. Every other billboard is for a gentleman's club.

At least I can still attract the attention of the old guys and truckers. Truckers look at anything female.

Why is it called a highway? Are there lowways? The British call them motorways. That makes more sense. And.....why are driveways called driveways when we park in them and we drive on Parkways?

Why has no one come up with an appropriate method of peeing in your car? Cups don't work. Not that I've ever tried.

When there are 3 lanes of traffic, why do the slowest people drive in the 2 left lanes?

Ironic! I get to Florida and I get a cold.

Why don't they call them Potty areas instead of rest areas? More people potty than rest.

I think they should provide Yoga instructors at truck stops. Those truckers must get awful cramped up and sore from driving all the time. I can just hear the truckers on their CB radios: "Namaste good buddy!" "How's your downward dog posture coming there Bud?" "Catch ya on the road to spiritual enlightenment."

I'm sure glad I brought 8 liters of wine, they didn't have my brand here.

Thank God we made it here in one piece.