Happy Birthday Manders!

Manda, Manda, Manda. My baby is all grown up! 25 today. You have grown in to a beautiful and smart woman. You amaze me with the things you have accomplished: Running your own business, raising a family, putting up with Brad (you know I love you Brad). You brighten my day every time I see your sweet smiling face. You do however; still have an Amanda moment every once in a while: "Mom, how do you spell BUREAU?" "B-U-R-E-A-U". "Wow, that's a hard one!" You are adorable and I love you very very much! Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Omlet Anyone?

Imagine my excitement and surprise to go out to the hen house this morning and find eggs! 9 beautiful surprisingly clean eggs. They were all over the place. I felt like a kid at Easter. I did my happy dance right there in the middle of the hen house. I sent a picture message of my eggs to anyone I thought might remotely care. I didn't even know if any of them had camera phones. I didn't care, I was a proud Mama! I took pictures of them, I even hard boiled the eggs in my refrigerator so I could make egg salad and use them up since I was about to have fresh eggs everyday. Then..........Imagine my disappointment and shock to find out that it was an egg scam perpetrated by Bryan and Brad. Those butt heads went and got brown eggs at the store and came back last night and put them in the hen house. I should have known! The signs were there. The eggs were pristine, no poop stains, they were perfect size, shape and color, they were in the exact middle of the nesting box with no poop in site or bedding disturbed, and one was on the top of the ramp. I was so excited that I ignored the obvious. They got me good! Sarah was in on it. (that bitch). Amanda didn't know because Brad knew she would feel bad for me and probably tell. The funny thing is that I have never felt so loved. No one has ever punked me like that before. Plus it's really nice to see Bryan and Brad act like 10 year olds again. I haven't seen that since they tried to float in recycle bins down the river.
Soooooo....Bring it on boys, just remember that payback are a bitch. By the way I'm making dinner tonight and your invited.

It's the Law

If there isn't a law against drinking and sewing, there ought to be. It can be dangerous.

Unpredictable Kids and Animals

Why is it that kids and animals always do what you don't want them to do. Is there some cosmic hand that comes down and guides them to mischief? Jaxon is seemingly occupied playing with my spools of thread which I will unravel later. I figure I could maybe cut some material for the pillows I am making. I get the material all even and laid out on the cutting mat and Jax comes over and sits down right in the middle of the fabric. I know he did it on purpose. Fine, I'll move onto something else. He's playing in the playroom quietly so maybe I'll crochet a little. No, as soon as I pick up the crochet I become a human jungle gym for him to climb on. I surrender, besides his dad will be here soon. Brad gets here and I hand off Jax. I happen to glance out the window and I see Happy on the hill in the backyard. Happy isn't supposed to be on the hill, because that means he is out of his cage. Brad and I run outside and corral him pretty quickly thank goodness. He had dug a hole under the wire on the grass cage. What an ungrateful bastard! He tried to hump his sister, now he tries to escape. He doesn't realize how good he has it. My animals are probably treated better than some peoples kids. To top off the last hour, Ellie rolled in chicken shit. Very runny chicken shit! I think even she was disgusted because she kept coughing. Then there is my little fibber boy Julian. He asked for cookies but Mom said no because they were going to eat dinner soon. He gets me in the house under the guise of having to go to the bathroom. "So, how bout those cookies?" "Your Mommy said no." "Just give them to me real quick and I'll eat them fast." I finally convince him that we can't disobey his Mommy. He's standing by the dishwasher and says I didn't push any buttons and then goes out the door to leave. I really didn't pay attention to his comment about pushing buttons, until later when I looked at the dishwasher and it was lit up like a Christmas Tree. What a little fibber! Unpredictable but never boring.....I love them all.

MEET THE GIRLS!

Happy Birthday Dreama

Dreama is 96 years old today. Happy Birthday Dreama Belle. Dreama is convinced that she is only 91. I told her to at least pick 20 years younger if she wants to lie about her age. I am convinced that I'm only 29.
Happy Birthday to Chris Ottinger yesterday. Chris is busy with new baby Orion. Congrats and Happy Birthday.

Barnyard Fun

I put in a search on Google: "copulation of rabbits" I was trying to be somewhat medical in my terminology. What I really wanted to know is how long it takes for rabbits to "do it." Sure enough, up pops a heading: "How long does it take for rabbits to do it." I love the Internet. There was a little rabbit incident tonight. I keep all of them in different cages, but when I put them in the yard pen I put the two does out together and then I put them up and put the buck out. During the exchange, Toby(doe) was in with Happy(buck) for a few seconds so I could make the switch. I'm telling you it wasn't 10 seconds that Happy was chasing Toby and trying to jump on her. The pen that I have in the grass has an opening at one end and it's 9 feet long by 3 feet wide and I have wire over the top to keep out predators. The only way to get to them before they complete the deed is to climb into the pen. Did I mention that it is only 2 feet high. I start screaming at Happy to get off of Toby which brings Bear(my dog) over to see what all the commotion is about. I'm trying to climb into the cage and keep Bear out all the while my sweater keeps getting caught on the wire top of the cage. Toby is managing to keep her virginity in tack by running around. Right before I grab Toby, Happy jumps on and does some quick bunny thrusts to which I respond by pushing him off hopefully before he finished. I've never been that close to bunny sex before. So that is what prompted my Internet search about bunny sex. Apparently it takes only minutes, maybe even seconds for bunnies to mate, however; when they are done the buck usually falls off out of satisfaction. Happy didn't get to fall off, I think I pushed him off before he was done. I think I'm safe. Here are some other interesting bunny facts:
- Rabbits have two pair of boobs
- They eat their own poop at night
- They can't throw up
- It takes 40 rabbits to make a full length coat
- They have three eyelids
- They ovulate in response to sex that is why they can reproduce so often
- Bunny sex last only seconds and their is no foreplay
So guys the next time a woman tells you that you hump like a rabbit, don't take it as a compliment.