Do What You Gotta Do For The Sake Of Sleep

I have evil drapes and they may be ruining my marriage.

I bought some drapes for the windows in the bedroom at the condo. Previously there was nothing there. I liked the view and it was nice to wake up and have the ocean be the first thing I laid my eyes on in the morning. Joe, however; was disturbed by the fact that as soon as the sun came up he would wake up. Being the ever subservient and dutiful wife that I am, I bought some drapes so Joe might be able to sleep a little later in the morning.

Since I have installed the drapes I have not been able to sleep, averaging only two to three hours over each of the last three nights. I am convinced that the drapes are to blame. It could have something to do with the size of the bed and my fluctuating body temperature as well, but it's easier to blame the drapes.

When we first bought the condo and needed a bed, we figured since we weren't down here that much we would buy a queen size bed and save some money. We are used to a king size. That was a big mistake. Between me, Joe and the dog we barely fit. It doesn't help that I am now having a harder time controlling my body temperature (yes it's menopause ass holes). Joe puts off enough body heat to make a family of three comfortable. It's like sleeping next to an oven set at 400 degrees with the door open.

So, it's finally happened. We have become that couple. You know, the couple that everyone feels sorry for because they are sleeping in separate beds. The couple that you assume must have major problems if they don't even sleep in the same bed. I finally get it. While I'm sure the aforementioned may be true in some cases, more than likely the couple are in that situation for practical reasons. There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation. Having a grumpy sleep deprived spouse is no way to live.

We slept apart last night and.......we both slept like babies. Well maybe not babies. We slept like a man having to get up and go to the bathroom every two hours and a woman with hot flashes having to put the cover on or off every two hours. So, for us we slept well!

I assume that once we get home to our king size bed everything will go back to normal. For now we will be apart for the sake of sleep.

"Good night Joe". "Good night Patti". "Good night Ellie". "Good night John Boy." "Who?" "Never mind, go to sleep."