Aging sucks for man as well as beast. Poor Bear! Bear is 16 which is like 112 in people years?? He's deaf, blind, incontinent, shaggy, has nubs for teeth, stands lopsided, coughs all the time, and has a bad heart. He still however; gets up to greet whoever enters the garage. He also still patrols as the ever vigilant watch dog, even though most of the time his nemesis happens to be a moving branch on a tree.
I took him to the vet today because his cough is getting worse. I told the vet I needed some guidance as to what to do. I don't want him to be in pain, but I don't think he is ready to give up yet. The vet assured me he wasn't suffering. That made me feel better. The vet adjusted his meds and I came home with my shaggy, blind, deaf and feeble dog.
The day that Bear stops chasing the chickens (chasing as in taking two steps toward them and falling down) that is the day I'll know he's done. For my sake I hope to find him dead of natural causes curled up in his cardboard dog house. I can't bear the thought of being the one to take away his final breath by lethal injection. I've watched people die before; and that's terrible enough. I watched Joe's Golden Retriever; Al, be put down and that was devastating (poor Al). While I know euthanasia for animals is mostly a humane thing, it's still unnatural and it's bothersome.
I don't like being in this holding pattern of life and death. I certainly don't mean to compare animal life to human life as being on equal ground. While I have compassion and respect for animal life, I would choose a human life over an animal any day of the week.
I'm in the middle of typing and I just get a call from the nursing home where my Mom is. When I see the number on the caller ID I brace myself a bit, not knowing what I will hear when I pick up the phone. As long as I don't answer, everything is still ok. All that can change after I say "hello". This call wasn't about my Mom, it was about Joe's Mom. Dreama will be a new resident of the nursing home this afternoon. She had a stroke last week and is no longer able to live in the assisted living facility that she has lived in for upwards of 8 years (maybe more). The paperwork needs to be done for her admission. I am now pretty much an expert on elder care paperwork after stumbling through it with my Mom. I don't know if Dreama knows yet that she is going to be a permanent resident of the nursing home. She will not be happy (who would). She is a little more vocal about her feeling than my Mom, so I am a little scared. Not that I'm afraid of Dreama, I'm afraid that she will not do well. She is used to being around her friends and being social. She unfortunately will be more isolated at the nursing home especially since she cannot get around on her own. My Mom on the other hand actually did better when she went to the nursing home because she went from being isolated in her room at the assisted living place to having more people around all the time.
I don't really like this time of my life. It feels so unsettling. There is such a huge spectrum of issues and emotions; from birth to death.
I know what Bryan will say: "Mom, don't forget your sayings!" You're right Bryan. I will "Embrace The Journey" and take it one day at a time.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Julie! I hope those kids of yours are taking care of you today. You deserve it. I hope you have a wonderful day, wish I could share it with you. I love you bunches! Eat some cake for me, I love me some cake.
Random Thoughts
Ever wish you could remove your face, put on your makeup and then put your face back on??? I do, it would be so much easier. Just wondered.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
To Do List
Gardening like a mad woman, trying to get a jump start on the season. I made myself a greenhouse over my raised bed garden. I used the flexible fiberglass tent poles as the frame and then covered it with clear plastic. I'll report on that later when I have it up and running.
I'm also Building a roost for the new chickens and getting the barn ready. The baby chicks will actually be in the basement for the first few weeks so I can regulate the temperature better. Anybody out there that is going to be raising chickens I have a tip for you. Don't pay $40 for the brooder starter packages that they advertise. It usually consists of a heat lamp and feeding items along with a piece of flexible cardboard to put around the area you will be keeping them to help keep the heat in. You can get heat lamps really cheap at TSC and even Walmart. You can also get the flexible cardboard at PakMail for .20 a foot. I got everything I needed for around $15.
Let's see...what else am I doing???? Oh yeah, I have to clean the chicken poop out of the garage, restain the playset, clean out the gutters, cut Bears hair, fix the fence I broke with the tire, blah blah blah.
Gotta go!
I'm also Building a roost for the new chickens and getting the barn ready. The baby chicks will actually be in the basement for the first few weeks so I can regulate the temperature better. Anybody out there that is going to be raising chickens I have a tip for you. Don't pay $40 for the brooder starter packages that they advertise. It usually consists of a heat lamp and feeding items along with a piece of flexible cardboard to put around the area you will be keeping them to help keep the heat in. You can get heat lamps really cheap at TSC and even Walmart. You can also get the flexible cardboard at PakMail for .20 a foot. I got everything I needed for around $15.
Let's see...what else am I doing???? Oh yeah, I have to clean the chicken poop out of the garage, restain the playset, clean out the gutters, cut Bears hair, fix the fence I broke with the tire, blah blah blah.
Gotta go!
Happy Birthday
I'm a week behind again! I can't help it...too much to do, so little time. I missed 2 birthday's!!! Brad Bingman and my Bryan's. Sorry guys!
Happy Birthday Brad! Wish I could have been in Colorado to share some of that pig with you. You can come labor day and make us a pig for our party. That would be awesome! I hope you had a wonderful Birthday! I'll see you in a month.
Bryan what can I say. You're my baby boy! I wasn't too concerned about blogging your Birthday since I was actually here and you were spoiled rotten over the entire weekend. 29 Already...WOW! I am very proud of you and I love you very much even though sometimes you are annoying and you are teaching it to your sons. Happy Birthday B!
Happy Birthday Brad! Wish I could have been in Colorado to share some of that pig with you. You can come labor day and make us a pig for our party. That would be awesome! I hope you had a wonderful Birthday! I'll see you in a month.
Bryan what can I say. You're my baby boy! I wasn't too concerned about blogging your Birthday since I was actually here and you were spoiled rotten over the entire weekend. 29 Already...WOW! I am very proud of you and I love you very much even though sometimes you are annoying and you are teaching it to your sons. Happy Birthday B!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Big Wheels Keep On Turnin.....
The surprise is over. I came home from Florida 2 weeks early and I didn't tell Bryan. He always tries to make me feel guilty for missing his birthday every year. Now he can't complain. I've been so busy since I've been back I'll probably forget his birthday. I'd never live that down.
I go from nothing to do in Florida to so much to do I don't know where to start. I've been cleaning out the barn; shoveling lots of chicken poop. I have to get ready for my new baby chicks that are coming in mid April. Then there is the yard and garden that needs started. Etc. etc. etc......
I have some tires that have just been sitting in the barn. With Brad's urging I have decided to try to sell them. I checked with a local tire dealer and apparently it will be worth my while to sell them. Since they have been in the barn the chickens have used them as a laying nest. I thought I'd better clean off the poop and straw before I put them on CraigsList.
In the process of getting the tires from the barn to the garage I invented a new game. It's called "Where will the damn tire go!" I rolled the first tire out of the barn and headed for the house. There is a little hill right outside the barn so the tire took to rolling a little faster. I thought: oh good, the tire will roll to the garage and I won't have to push it. No, not good. The hill is not smooth and neither is the ground so the tire took on a life of it's own. It's started rolling faster and faster and....there is a spot where the pasture fence is broken and the tire rolled right through there, into the pasture and disappeared (it's the pasture with all of the overgrown trees and brush). I stood there at the top of that little hill by the barn thinking: what the hell just happened??? I didn't run after it because I figure it would stop before it got to the fence. Remember Newton's laws of motion? "An object in motion will stay in motion unless an outside force acts upon it." By golly that is true! It took me 10 minutes to find that stupid tire; fighting overgrown thorny bushes the entire time. Once I found it I had to push it up hill through the thorny bushes and to the garage.
Three tires to go and I'm certainly not going to make that mistake again...or am I?
This time I pointed the tire more toward the garage thinking that if it got away from me it would be heading in the right direction. Wrong again. It started off in the same direction at a little different angle. This time I started chasing it. I pushed on the tire figuring it would fall over on it's side and therefore stop. All it did was wobble a little and keep on going. I pushed it 2 more times with the same effect. It was heading for the part of the fence that was not broken. Well, it wasn't broken, but it is now. The tire hit the fence with a loud CRACK! At least it stopped the tire.
Time for the third tire. By now I have figured out that I can't let the tire get any momentum at all by the hill. So, I'm doing a pretty good job of keeping it under control but it still starts to roll faster. I was bound and determined not to let this one get away, so as soon as it started to go faster I knocked it over. It still took me two tries to push it down. I got the forth tire to the garage uneventful.
Between shoveling poop and chasing tires I am exhausted. I did more today than I have in the last month. I was so tired this evening that I drove the car to the mailbox. I just couldn't bring myself to walk that far.
I should have no trouble sleeping tonight. I just hope I can get out of bed in the morning.
I go from nothing to do in Florida to so much to do I don't know where to start. I've been cleaning out the barn; shoveling lots of chicken poop. I have to get ready for my new baby chicks that are coming in mid April. Then there is the yard and garden that needs started. Etc. etc. etc......
I have some tires that have just been sitting in the barn. With Brad's urging I have decided to try to sell them. I checked with a local tire dealer and apparently it will be worth my while to sell them. Since they have been in the barn the chickens have used them as a laying nest. I thought I'd better clean off the poop and straw before I put them on CraigsList.
In the process of getting the tires from the barn to the garage I invented a new game. It's called "Where will the damn tire go!" I rolled the first tire out of the barn and headed for the house. There is a little hill right outside the barn so the tire took to rolling a little faster. I thought: oh good, the tire will roll to the garage and I won't have to push it. No, not good. The hill is not smooth and neither is the ground so the tire took on a life of it's own. It's started rolling faster and faster and....there is a spot where the pasture fence is broken and the tire rolled right through there, into the pasture and disappeared (it's the pasture with all of the overgrown trees and brush). I stood there at the top of that little hill by the barn thinking: what the hell just happened??? I didn't run after it because I figure it would stop before it got to the fence. Remember Newton's laws of motion? "An object in motion will stay in motion unless an outside force acts upon it." By golly that is true! It took me 10 minutes to find that stupid tire; fighting overgrown thorny bushes the entire time. Once I found it I had to push it up hill through the thorny bushes and to the garage.
Three tires to go and I'm certainly not going to make that mistake again...or am I?
This time I pointed the tire more toward the garage thinking that if it got away from me it would be heading in the right direction. Wrong again. It started off in the same direction at a little different angle. This time I started chasing it. I pushed on the tire figuring it would fall over on it's side and therefore stop. All it did was wobble a little and keep on going. I pushed it 2 more times with the same effect. It was heading for the part of the fence that was not broken. Well, it wasn't broken, but it is now. The tire hit the fence with a loud CRACK! At least it stopped the tire.
Time for the third tire. By now I have figured out that I can't let the tire get any momentum at all by the hill. So, I'm doing a pretty good job of keeping it under control but it still starts to roll faster. I was bound and determined not to let this one get away, so as soon as it started to go faster I knocked it over. It still took me two tries to push it down. I got the forth tire to the garage uneventful.
Between shoveling poop and chasing tires I am exhausted. I did more today than I have in the last month. I was so tired this evening that I drove the car to the mailbox. I just couldn't bring myself to walk that far.
I should have no trouble sleeping tonight. I just hope I can get out of bed in the morning.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
It Will Never Change
I had a hard time getting to sleep again last night. No, it wasn't because of the bed. It's because of Sandra Bullock. I feel so bad for her! She seems so open and genuine that I feel like I know her. She's the type of woman I would love to have as a best friend. What was her husband thinking?????? If you saw the Oscars, she made the most touching acceptance speech; talking about how her husband has her back. They showed Jesse and he had tears in his eyes. At the time I thought they were tears of love and devotion. It turns out they were tears of: "Oh shit I am in such trouble."
I do give him credit for admitting his mistake right off. It's the people that deny, deny, deny (like John Edwards) that I have the most disdain for. It's humiliating enough for the spouse in the first place and continuing to lie prolongs the agony.
This is for all of the famous people that cheat and think they can get away with it: "REALLY!!!!!" First of all, be a little more particular in your choices. Slutty down on their luck models and waitresses will do anything to make money, including sell you out. You would think that would be common sense, but apparently not.
Normally I don't care what you celebrity types do, but don't mess with Sandra Bullock.
I do give him credit for admitting his mistake right off. It's the people that deny, deny, deny (like John Edwards) that I have the most disdain for. It's humiliating enough for the spouse in the first place and continuing to lie prolongs the agony.
This is for all of the famous people that cheat and think they can get away with it: "REALLY!!!!!" First of all, be a little more particular in your choices. Slutty down on their luck models and waitresses will do anything to make money, including sell you out. You would think that would be common sense, but apparently not.
Normally I don't care what you celebrity types do, but don't mess with Sandra Bullock.
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