Hang Man

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Memories vs Stuff

I think the stress of moving Mom and dealing with all of her "stuff" has finally gotten to me. I have been feeling overwhelmed; not even wanting to blog. I like to have things organized and right now nothing is organized. As I have gotten older, I have become more sentimental. When we moved Mom out of the house that I grew up in, I had no problem getting rid of stuff. I remember telling Mom not to keep so much. "You're not going to need it." That was true, and now I need someone to tell me: "get rid of it, you're not going to need it!" I am only having probelms getting rid of things with memories attached. I can get rid of the ugly gold headboard that was on one of her beds, but I can't seem to part with the 1970 bright yellow stamp holder that always sat on her desk. I don't even buy rolls of stamps. The item that started this struggle between sentiment and reality is a razor. I came across her razor while I was sorting through her things. I held it in my hand and just stared at it for the longest time. It's not just any razor. This razor is older than I am. It's shiny gold and heavy. The bottom of the handle turns to expose the blade for changing. It works perfectly. This razor always sat on the edge of the bathtub in our pink tiled bathroom. Mom used it to shave her legs. As a little girl I remember looking at how shiny it was and wanting to pick it up, but I knew it was forbidden because it was dangerous. That made it all the more enticing. When "I" determined it was time for me to begin the ritual of leg shaving I naturally reached for the shiny gold razor. I took the first swipe up the shin of my right leg. With what little hair I had came the top layer of most of the skin on my shin. I remember it well. It bled like a mother! I still have the scars from it. Apparently I wasn't ready for such a sophisticated instrument. Can you understand now why it is so hard to part with? There are fond memories and traumatic memories associated with that little razor. Of course I kept it. I justified it by telling myself that I could use it for one of my craft projects.

Here are a few of the other items that are causing me stress.
*Plastic Christmas wreath that she has had since 1971. It is still in the original box and on the inside of the lid she has written something about each Christmas that she hung it.
*Chestnut that she used to wear in her bra to keep the aches and pains away. (Whoever told her that should be shot.)
*Silky scarves that haven't been popular since the 70's. She almost always put a scarf on when she wore a jacket. Some of them still smell like her perfume.

I honestly don't know what to do. I can't keep everything; can I? My head says that I will have the memories whether or not I have the actual stuff. My heart says I need the stuff to keep the memories alive. Right now my head wants to punch my heart in the mouth.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the club. I have many of mom and dads things that hold a special place in my heart. No I won't get rid of them but I know that when I go (at least this is my feeling at this time) Shane and Kyle will have no problem discarding things. There jus isn't that sentimental bond that I feel. Maybe that will change in time, I'll never know. When we moved Mom to Kingston and we cleaned out the house on Inverlith I brought many things here. Some of it still sets on the table that I set up in the garage to sort through it. I did get busy scanning many of the old photos that I had never seen before and I have promised a CD of the images to Bob McKee Jr. Many of the photos are of his mom and dad. I'll keep doing it because it makes me feel better. I'll leave the trashing of memories to someone else. By the way how come this comment thingy doesn't let me sign in as me anymore?

Steve said...

I'm trying this again to see if it will sign in as me.

Patti said...

I don't know why you are having a problem signing in. The second comment came through ok.

Lisa said...

You could always give some of the memory stuff to grandkids, great grandkids etc. This past Christmas I received a beautiful hat box with Gramma's pictures all over it. Inside were some neat linens with little notes attached as to a special memory or maybe when she used it. It was probably the most special gift I received.

Steve said...

Testing

Steve said...

Ok just did a test on Laurens Blog and everything worked fine. For some reason on your site it doesn't put the pic on anymore