Speaking of Hotels

I never used to mind going to hotels on vacations. When Joe and I first got married, he would get free vacations through his "connections". So we stayed in some nice hotels. I rather enjoyed it. Joe's connections have since dried up, so no more nice vacations in nice hotels. In the last 4 or 5 years I have come to abhor hotels. They are dirty and disgusting and all I think about is the nastiness that goes on in them and the fact that I am sleeping in the same bed. I wear flip flops the entire time, even in the shower. I made Joe start wearing shoes all the time too because he has a habit of scuffing his bare feet across the carpet. GROSS! As we were driving down to Florida the other day, I had an epiphany! I told Joe: "I just figured out that it's not that I don't like hotels in general, I just don't like the ones you take me too!" His response? "You can't expect a two star husband to take you to a four star hotel. Touche!

Police Arrest Indiana Physician at Florida Hampton Inn

AP WIRE NEWS RELEASE:
A prominent Indiana Doctor was arrested Thursday morning at a Florida Hampton Inn on suspicion of smuggling and fraud. Dr."O"no and his wife; Alpha Doe were taken into custody as they were leaving the hotel. 5lbs of.....Chihuahua was found to have been smuggled into the "no pet" hotel room. The said Chihuahua going by the name of Ellie, was also charged with resisting arrest when she bit the arresting officer. Ellie will be quarantined pending trial. The fraud charges stem from parking in a handicapped space while fraudulently using a handicap placard. The handicap placard belongs to the subjects mother-in-law who was not traveling with the couple. Alpha Doe was released after questioning when it was determined that she was innocent of the charges and that her husband was working alone. Through her tears, Alpha Doe is quoted as saying: "I told him not to do it. He doesn't think straight when it comes to Ellie. She's the other woman in our marriage."

After his arraignment, Dr. "O"no pleaded guilty to all charges with the stipulation that he and Ellie be incarcerated together. Dr."O"no was sent to an undisclosed Florida prison. Upon arrival to his cell, he found Ellie curled up sleeping with his cell mate; Bubba. Dr."O" was heard yelling: "You Bitch! After all I've done for you, you treat me like this?" Dr. "O"no had no comment when asked about his outburst. According to Bubba; however, "It's not Ellie who's the bitch." Attempts to reach Alpha Doe by phone have failed; however, she could be seen on the balcony of her Florida condo drinking Mohitos served by Juan the pool boy.

Happy Birthday Connor, Harrison & Addison

Happy Birthday Babies!!!! You aren't really babies anymore. 3 years old today! Eat lots of cake so you can gain a few pounds and next time Nicholas tackles you, you can roll him over and pin him. Or better yet you could just all gang up on him. Just kidding! Nanu and Papa Joe miss you very much. We hope you have a great birthday, and we love you.

Aren't Vacations Supposed To Be Relaxing??

I am attempting to pack for our month long excursion to Florida. I don't think Joe has any idea what a pain in the ass it is to get ready to go. Maybe he has a little idea, because I bitch about it enough. Joe will pack one little bag with a few books and he's good to go. I wish it were that easy for me. Household obligations don't stop just because you go out of town. Stop the mail and newspaper, forward the mail, bring everything that has to do with paying bills for us and our mothers, pack the food, anticipate what we will need for the next month, close down the house, etc.........It's not really a vacation for me. I was up at 4am today just thinking about all of the stuff I need to do. I will however acknowledge the fact that I am responsible for bringing on some of the headaches and stress associated with our trips to Florida. I am an organizer and somewhat of a clean freak. Those qualities can be stressful at times. I feel the need to be perfect and not forget to do anything. I have to feel like everything is done and organized appropriately. Which in turn creates more work. Plus, I have to have stuff to keep me busy. That means I have to take crochet stuff and whatever little project I am working on with me. Then there are the electronic gadgets: cell phone, ipod, computer, nintendo ds, portable dvd player, cameras, video recorder.....which all have chargers and other cables. Each one is organized in it's own case or carrier for easy access. Then there's the packing for Ellie and I haven't even gotten to my personal care items and clothes yet. Oh yeah, I can't forget my yoga and pilates DVDs, and my roller blades. Gotta keep up with working out so I don't lose any ground. I'm tired just thinking about it. Maybe I will go back to bed. Forget that, I won't be able to sleep. Now where did I put my flip flops???? Aaaaaaaahhhhh!

PS: I forgot to mention the how much I will miss my grandbabies and my chickens! Oh, my kids too.

Barbie Is 50

I was born the same year as Barbie. So was Simon Cowell, Danny Bonaduce, Fabio, Jessica Hahn and Marie Osmond; just to name a few. I'm pretty sure we've all had a little work done especially that bitch Barbie. The top photo is how she looks now, left photo is of her in 1959. I actually had the 1959 Barbie. I think Steve got it for me. I wish I still had it, it's worth thousands of dollars now. One sold on e-bay a few years ago for over $3500.00. If you examine her photos of today versus 1959, you can tell she's had work done. She never used to have a belly button so for sure she's had a tummy tuck. Her eyes also look a little lifted at the corners so I'm pretty sure that indicates a possible face lift or at the very least an eyebrow lift. She's probably had some chemical peels as well because she should have some sun spots on her face from all of that time she has spent in Malibu. It's a fact to that blondes don't age as well as brunettes. Her ponytail is probably a little tight too. That helps give the appearance of smoother facial skin. I actually have a hair clip that not only pulls up my hair but my face as well. I wear it when I'm feeling old. Instant face lift. This photo of Barbie is how she would look had she not had any work done.

Happy 1 Year Blogaversary To Me

It's my 1 year blogaversary!!!! Happy Anniversary to WHADDUP DOE! It's also change your clock time. Good thing I didn't have to be anywhere today because I would have been late. Time already goes too fast, I hate that I just lost an hour. I'll work double time so I can make it up.

Baby Dolls, Prune Juice and Veggie Hot Dogs

I love being a Grandmother! I can entertain my grandkids while torturing my kids at the same time. I bought a new toy today to add to the playroom that I have set up for the grandkids. I got a cute, cuddly, pink clothed baby doll that coos and giggles and sucks a pacifier. It came with a pink and brown polka dot stroller. I intentionally got it for the boys. At Christmas I got a baby for Addy and the boys played with it probably more than she did. It was a good purchase because Nicholas and Jax played with it today, and they loved it! Jax would take it and cuddle it and say "come here, your fine." Nicholas was more interested in the purse that I gave him to use as a diaper bag. Bryan came to pick up Nicholas and saw the doll and immediately started poking it and shaking it to make it talk. "Daddy, don't shake the baby." Even Nicholas knows how not to treat a baby. Bryan and Brad will thank me one day when their boys grow up to be loving nurturing fathers.

Lunch time was fun as well. I thought I would try out the soy based hot dogs on the boys see if they could tell the difference. Put a little ketchup on em and you couldn't tell the difference. "I'm thirsty Nanu." "How about some juice?" (1/2 apple juice and 1/2 prune juice.) "Nanu, what is that?" "Oh, it's apple berry juice." "Ooooh." My only regret with the prune juice is that Sarah is out of town this weekend and so she won't see the fruits of my labor. Sorry Bryan, Brad and Amanda. No, you know what? I'm not sorry! I have your children's colon health to look after. When the boys have their first colonoscopy and it comes back clean, the doctor is going to say: "It must be from the prune juice that their grandmother gave them as children." Again, everyone will be thanking me.

Reality

Ok, I think I'm back. If you've never had a bout of clinical depression you probably have no idea how I have felt over the last month or so. If you have, you know exactly how terrible it can be. That is my reality! Enough said!

Now on to TV reality.
I have to comment on the final episode of the bachelor and the "After The Final Rose Show". First of all, I predicted that he was going to pick Melissa by the second show. Not because I had psychic insight into his love connection, but because they showed previews of the proposal and I recognized her hand. I was happy, because they seemed like a good fit. I think Melissa is adorable. I kind of knew something was up because of an article I read in Entertainment weekly. It made mention of a love triangle. However, I was not prepared for what happened on the "After" show. Melissa got dumped on National Television! How crazy was that????? I loved it though when she called him a "bastard". You go Melissa! I think Jason is getting a bad rap . Granted, he should never have proposed and been so dramatic professing his love, but he was probably caught up in the moment. The heart wants what the heart wants! I blame that bitch Deanna. If she hadn't come and confused him with her visit he probably would have picked Molly. I'm still not sure what her reason for seeing him was????? She's screwed him over twice now!

Real or staged? I don't care, it's entertainment. I have to watch something while I crochet.