Speaking of Hotels

I never used to mind going to hotels on vacations. When Joe and I first got married, he would get free vacations through his "connections". So we stayed in some nice hotels. I rather enjoyed it. Joe's connections have since dried up, so no more nice vacations in nice hotels. In the last 4 or 5 years I have come to abhor hotels. They are dirty and disgusting and all I think about is the nastiness that goes on in them and the fact that I am sleeping in the same bed. I wear flip flops the entire time, even in the shower. I made Joe start wearing shoes all the time too because he has a habit of scuffing his bare feet across the carpet. GROSS! As we were driving down to Florida the other day, I had an epiphany! I told Joe: "I just figured out that it's not that I don't like hotels in general, I just don't like the ones you take me too!" His response? "You can't expect a two star husband to take you to a four star hotel. Touche!

Police Arrest Indiana Physician at Florida Hampton Inn

AP WIRE NEWS RELEASE:
A prominent Indiana Doctor was arrested Thursday morning at a Florida Hampton Inn on suspicion of smuggling and fraud. Dr."O"no and his wife; Alpha Doe were taken into custody as they were leaving the hotel. 5lbs of.....Chihuahua was found to have been smuggled into the "no pet" hotel room. The said Chihuahua going by the name of Ellie, was also charged with resisting arrest when she bit the arresting officer. Ellie will be quarantined pending trial. The fraud charges stem from parking in a handicapped space while fraudulently using a handicap placard. The handicap placard belongs to the subjects mother-in-law who was not traveling with the couple. Alpha Doe was released after questioning when it was determined that she was innocent of the charges and that her husband was working alone. Through her tears, Alpha Doe is quoted as saying: "I told him not to do it. He doesn't think straight when it comes to Ellie. She's the other woman in our marriage."

After his arraignment, Dr. "O"no pleaded guilty to all charges with the stipulation that he and Ellie be incarcerated together. Dr."O"no was sent to an undisclosed Florida prison. Upon arrival to his cell, he found Ellie curled up sleeping with his cell mate; Bubba. Dr."O" was heard yelling: "You Bitch! After all I've done for you, you treat me like this?" Dr. "O"no had no comment when asked about his outburst. According to Bubba; however, "It's not Ellie who's the bitch." Attempts to reach Alpha Doe by phone have failed; however, she could be seen on the balcony of her Florida condo drinking Mohitos served by Juan the pool boy.

Florida Life

I had no computer access for an entire day. Our Florida Condo is being fumigated for Termites! We had to remove everything from the condo that was either food or cosmetic and the condo is completely enclosed in a big red tent. I keep waiting for the clowns to come out. There are warning signs all around that say "Dangerous Toxic Gas, Keep Out". I don't know if I ever want to go back in. It gets fumigated for 18 hours, then the tent is removed and ventilated for 6 hours before we go back in. We should be able to be in by tomorrow afternoon. We are staying in a motel across the street from the condo. I HATE motels! We are however, sampling the local cuisine since we have no where to cook or store food. Most of it is not what I normally eat, so I will probably gain 10 lbs. over the next few days. No one serves Oatmeal! What's up with that? I don't think there is a carrot stick on the entire island.