The One That Got Away

I decided to get my fishing license. I haven't fished in Florida for probably 2 years. I fished a lot when we first started coming down, but for some reason I've had no interest lately. Well, that all changed yesterday. I tried to catch some bait fish with a little net, but that didn't work. Then, I thought I needed to be out in the bay a little bit instead of on shore. I took the kayak out with my fishing pole. I wasn't out more than 10 minutes when I had a strike. Holy Crap! The fish was big, it bent my pole way down. Then it broke the surface....It was a huge Snook! The fish to catch in these parts. I was so excited! I wrestled with him for a few minutes (remember I'm in a kayak). He went around toward the back of the boat, jumped out of the water and broke free. SHIT! I apparently didn't set the hook properly. I believe that Snook would have been my record catch. It was probably even too big to keep. (They have to be between 26" - 36"). I know what you're thinking. It's a fish story, but I have witnesses. Seven to be exact. I had an audience the entire time I was fishing. I will not give up until I catch that SOB.

America Truly Is A Melting Pot

Joe and I went to Miami to pick up Lorrie at the airport. I thought maybe we should check out South Beach since we were so close. Maybe we would see someone famous. Actually we were there way too early for star sightings. They don't come out till late at night and then I'm sure they don't go where we were. Anyway we saw our share of interesting sights. Mostly in the form of people of all shapes and sizes and dressed in all sorts of attire. Joe was so consumed with the "atmosphere" he called a bar, a bra. Talk about a Freudian slip. The most...well.....I don't even know what to call it, most unusual sighting was a rather large African American woman wearing a black thong with black see through tights over it. I think she was wearing a black tube top or something, I'm not sure. I couldn't stop looking at her butt. Not just because of her attire, but because I've never seen a butt sooooo big or shaped like hers. You seriously could have rested a full table setting on her shelf butt. I am not exaggerating in the slightest. I'm not judging, she's probably a very nice hooker...I mean woman. Seriously though, anyone dressed like that is begging to be looked at and talked about. I thought about taking a picture but I didn't have my wide angle lens with me. The most surreal sightings were the signs below. I wasn't sure if this group of bible thumpers was for real or not. I'm sure that the guy with the sandwich board violated at least one of those directives. Miami is a potpourri of unique individuals. I miss Ft. Wayne.

Identity Crisis

I'm having a major identity crisis. Maybe it's because I'm hanging around with women 20 years older than I am. I don't know. My hair doesn't look right, the clothes I have don't seem to fit my personality anymore. I'm not sure where I fit in. Everyone here is older and everyone at home is younger. Maybe I'll start a support group for women turning 50. I'll call it: "The What The Hell Are We Supposed To Do Now" support group. I'm thinking about the haircut that Katie Holmes has on the cover of Glamour. What do you think??

What Doesn't Belong?

Top 'O The Morning To Ya!

Happy St. Patti's day everyone, and Happy Anniversary to Joe and I. 9 years! I can't believe I haven't scared him off yet. He knows and accepts my eccentricities. Remember, My eccentricities make me deliciously me (refer to: "what I always say" quotes). Besides, he needs me. Who else is going to organize his life and make him laugh. I keep things interesting for him. He never knows if he's coming home to happy Patti or depressed Patti or Patti on a mission. God love him, he puts up with all of them. Tonight we are going to a St. Patrick's Day dinner and dance across the street at the clubhouse starting at 4:30. (remember old people eat early). We can be home early enough to watch NCIS and the Mentalist and Dancing With The Stars in between; how bout that Melissa?

Note to kids: Julie has already called to wish us a Happy Anniversary. She called first thing this morning. Apparently she loves us the most. I'm just saying.

Another Day In Paradise

Another day in Paradise has come to an end. Senior aerobics and yoga. I had to laugh during aerobics. I was at the back of the room and looking out over the crowd of around 15 people it reminded me of the chickens. There were a few groups of two or three talking and laughing and jumping around. Every group was cackling louder than the next and you could barely hear the DVD. It really didn't matter though because the DVD had only about 4 different steps throughout the whole thing. The women talking were jumping around, but not with the DVD. They were doing their own thing. Then there were the loners chickens intently concentrating on their mission at hand. It was quite amusing. I am not knocking their determination though. I hope when I'm 70 I'm still able to workout.

Joe and I just got back from happy hour. Happy hour consisted of: me, Joe, two chairs and two glasses of wine on the beach in the bay. Doesn't get any better than that. We're gearing up for our Anniversary tomorrow. I will leave you with another "What Doesn't Belong" photo. Try to find the object without enlarging the photo. That would be cheating.

What Doesn't Belong?

 

 

 

I've probably watched the Dora video that I have for the grandkids 100 times. Falta Algo (somethings missing.) See, I've learned a spanish phrase. It inspired me to think of my own fun little game. In these 3 photos you have to find what doesn't belong. These are easy, but I wanted everyone to get the idea before I spring some really hard ones on you. Good luck!

Surviving in the Everglades

There is danger everywhere here in the Everglades. You have to be vigilant of your surroundings and be ready to react with lightening speed. Here is Joe reacting as he is about to be eaten by a monster lizard.

Drop It Before There is Blood Shed!

Driving in a car for extended periods of time makes me irritable. Especially when Joe tries to eat my food. Under the best circumstances I am protective of my food. I don't like to share. One of my first dates with Joe, we went to dinner with his kids. The food came, and everyone starting eating off of each others plate. Not in a terrible ravenous way or anything. It was polite, but forks were still reaching everywhere. I thought: "What do I do????" I wanted to say: "Back away from my plate!" Rebelling at that moment in time could have been detrimental so in hindsight I am glad I kept my trap shut. It all worked out and actually I have become more accustomed to the Ottinger eating method when dining out. Joe and I actually share many meals out. However, when I pick out specific food for me I become possessive of it. I buy light potato chips sometimes. Joe will eat regular chips so I don't have to share my diet chips. Unless of course there are no other chips around. He tried to take some chips in the car and I slapped him. I bitch slapped him hard! Ok, maybe not that hard, but it wasn't a pussy slap. Before everyone gets in a tizzy, I slapped his hand not his face. Then there was the banana. Bananas have a small window of perfect ripeness. Not hard, not too soft and no visible bruises. I picked out one such banana from the hotel breakfast bar. Joe picked out a banana too. His was much less pristine. Our bananas lay side by side on the console between the car seats. Joe aimlessly reaches for a banana and grabs my perfect specimen. "Seriously Joe, did we not just have the banana conversation???" My hand quickly reached for his hand. It wasn't quite a slap this time, it was more of a grab that said: "make one more move with my banana and you will regret it." He quickly releases the banana and the incident ends peacefully. I told Joe; "sometimes I'm like a firecracker waiting to go off"!
Joe said; "I'm trading you in for a couple of cherry bombs. They only blow smoke."