Shut Yur Trap

I told the guy that owns the siding company about losing a chicken to a racoon because his workers didn't close up the barn like they were supposed to. He was sufficiently apologetic so I didn't bust his balls too bad. I mentioned to him that I wanted to get a live trap to capture the little buggers and yesterday he brought me a brand new trap. That's what I call good customer service. I sat it out last night, but I got nothin. I'm pretty sure the coons didn't come around at all last evening because I had a full bag of cracked corn sitting open and it wasn't disturbed. I left the trap out again tonight. I can't wait to see what I get!

By the way, I seem to get the most responses on my blog when I talk about shooting something. Is that what I have to do to get everyone's attention? I'm running out of things to shoot at.

Happy Birthday Nickel

Happy 3rd Birthday Nicholas. I think Nickel may be confused because he had a party last weekend and today everyone is telling him Happy Birthday again. We're going for ice cream tonight. Birthdays are such a great excuse to eat cake and ice cream.
I Luv U Nickel!!!

The Hunt Continues

I spent all of yesterday wire fencing up the rest of the coop. It's tighter than Fort Knox. I kept the baby monitor on last night and Mr./Mrs. Coon was back. Actually I think that maybe the first one was Mr. and last night was the Mrs. because she looked smaller. She was a little craftier than her husband. She managed to sneek around me somehow and when I was in the barn, she was outside looking at me through the window. She was taunting me. I'm going out today and get a live trap. Then maybe I can keep her as a pet! (just kidding).

Patti Oakley Is Back!

Bad news.....I lost another chicken day before yesterday to a raccoon. The raccoon got into the coop and took one of the red hens at night. I'm sure it was a coon because I saw the tracks. I can't believe he was able to get the chicken up and out over the barn stall and then back up another wall to get out of the barn. It must have been a pretty good size coon. This probably would have never been an issue if the workers that are residing the barn didn't leave the walls exposed and this coon found out that there was food in there. I specifically told them that the barn always had to be sealed up at the end of the day. They aren't rocket scientists, so what did I expect? That's a whole nother story. Anyway.......I found out Brad had a live trap, so I set it up in the barn last night. It wasn't very big, but I thought I would try it. I slathered it with peanut butter and cracked corn. I also set up the baby monitor so I could hear any commotion that went on. Joe thinks I'm crazy, but it's not like he's just figuring that out now. Lastly, I loaded my .22.
We went to bed about 11:00 and all was quiet. A little side note here; chickens don't see at night and are very docile. That is why they are sitting ducks for predators at night. Back to the story......At 1:00am I woke up to some noise coming from the monitor. It was a steady kind of cracking noise. No chicken squawking, so I listened for a minute. It continued so I thought I better go investigate. I grabbed the rifle and a spot light and headed for the barn. Anyone that has been to our house at night knows that it gets very dark and scary at night. I didn't care, I was going to kick me some raccoon butt. I decided to sneak in from the back; which is where the trap was set. I saw that the trap had sprung and the snack that I prepared had been taken, but no raccoon. I opened the back door of the barn. It can't be opened quietly however, because it sticks. I decided I better open it quick and run in! When I did, I heard the sounds of scampering in the rafters. I shone the light around but didn't see a thing. The chickens were all ok. I walked the perimeter of the barn. No sign of him, so I went back and reset the trap. I sat there crouched down in the dark for a little while. I walked out of the barn slowly all the while surveying the area. For some reason, I looked behind me and up. I saw the outline of something that looked rectangle shaped on the roof. I thought for a second and said to myself: "self, there aren't any roof stacks on the barn." I shone the light on the roof and lo and behold there was a raccoon with his glow in the dark eyes staring right at me. He was scrunched down, so it was hard to tell how big he was. After seeing him however, I figured he probably just stuck his arm into the trap and scooped up the food. His butt never would have fit into that trap. So now the dilemma; how to get a shot off. I can't hold the spot light and the rifle at the same time, and if I turn off the light I can't really see him. I took too much time to figure out what to do and he started to crawl over the peak to the other side of the roof. I followed him around to the other side, tried to scope him in and I took a shot. I don't think I hit him, but it made him scurry back over to where I first spotted him. When I got back around to the other side, he was trotting across the peak of the roof. He got into an area where the lights from the garage and the moon light made him really visible. Ready, aim, FIRE! That Son of a Bitch went flying off the roof. I grabbed the spot light and ran around the barn. Of course the spot light ran out of juice right at that moment so I could hear him, but I couldn't see him. I searched for him awhile, but he was long gone. I realized the .22 wouldn't do him in unless I got a really good shot, but that's all I had. I didn't think it wise to go running around with a handgun in the middle of the night. Regardless, it worked! He didn't return and the chickens were safe this morning. My agenda today is to get a bigger trap, fence up some areas of the coop, and give the siding people a piece of my mind.

The silliness of this whole episode does not escape me. I realize that I'm a little obsessed about my chickens, however: if I do this for my chickens just think what I would do if my family was in trouble. I got your backs people!

I'm Hot Like A Bubble

I have often wished that I had a head cam so that I could videotape some of the funny predicaments that I get myself into. I have no problem laughing at myself. I do it quite often actually. Having a video cam around when kids are present is even better. Kids are comedic geniuses and they don't even know it. That is why most of the videos that win on America's Funniest Videos are of kids. Bryan could be $10,000 richer today if only he had taken a video camera with him when he took Julian to the dentist. Julian had to have a couple of cavities filled. They use Nitrous Oxide, aka laughing gas to give a little pain relief and anesthetic for the procedure. According to Bryan, Julian was sitting in the chair with the little mask on when he started to repeatedly thrust up from the hips as high as he could. Bryan didn't know what to think and he was about to tell him to stop when Julian blurted out: "I'm Hot like a Bubble!" Then he proceeded to lick his lips inside and out like an old man with no teeth. Bryan said he lost it! He laughed so hard he cried. Bryan had asked the nurse before they started if anyone had ever said anything really funny while under the effects of the gas. She said not really. Well they have now! My question is: Does he mean hot as in good lookin or hot as in temperature??? Most kids I would think that they meant hot as in temperature, but since it's Bryan's kid I'm pretty sure it's the good lookin reference. That could be the new catch phrase for the 5-9 age group. Instead of saying: "You are on fire!" You can say: "You are hot like a bubble!" Say it out loud. It's kinda catchy. Out of the mouths of babes.

Happy Birthday Walt

Have a great Birthday Walt! Give Lisa and Henry a kiss from me. Eat lots of cake!