Butter Burger

We have a new resturant in town called Culver's. I'm pretty sure it's a chain. There is a sign out front that advertises "Butter Burgers." I'm not exactly sure what a Butter Burger is, but I can pretty well guess that it is a hamburger cooked in butter or maybe a hamburger with butter mixed in. Whatever the case, can you say: "myocardial infarction?" Wasn't Ft. Wayne voted the fattest city in America one year? This might put us back on top again. I'm sure they are scrumptious, but are they necessary? Maybe this chain is actually terrorist based and they are trying to kill us with high cholesterol. I hate to bad mouth a business I've never been to, so go ahead an go to the restuarant, just stay away from the Butter Burger. My arteries are clogging just thinking about it.

For Sale

Don't people know how to negotiate a sale anymore??? Aside from the guy that wanted me to let him make payments on the car I have for sale, I have a guy that emailed me and asked me if I was out of my mind. Really? That's how you start a negotiation? He asked me in his email how I came up with my price and don't I know how sales are in Ft.Wayne? "No moron!" "I just want to sell my car." "Make an offer or shut the hell up!" He ends his email with: "but I'm really interested." So he insults me but he's really interested in buying my car. I emailed him back. "If you are so interested, then make an offer." You f---ing hill jack. (sorry, I just can't bring myself to type the f word.) I didn't include that last part in my email even though I really wanted to. I have been showing such restraint lately.

I also put an ad on craigslist for a bunny hutch that I made. It's too small for my gigantor bunnies. I got an email from a lady that seemed really interested. She wants it delivered. Really? Am I Sears? I think I'm just going to keep all of my old stuff. Dealing with the public is too much of a headache.

Happy Birthday Jax!

Jax is two today. Hard to believe. He's going to a water park in Indy and the zoo. What a lucky guy. Happy Birthday Jax, Nanu loves you!

Letting Me Know He's Out There

Hangman is back! He was apparently broken yesterday. Steve expressed his disappointment at its removal. When I got it back up and running and I played it, guess what word came up?? Cartography! In case you don't know, that is what Roger did for a living. Maybe he fixed the game! Thanks Rog!

Want To Buy A Car?

I'm trying to sell a few large items from around the house. Actually we've been trying to sell Joe's Ford Focus since last summer. I've had an add in the paper and online. I only received one call from the newspaper ad which ran for two months. I finally decided to put a sign on it and park it at the end of the driveway. I had two calls in the first few days. One guy showed up the other day while I was power washing. It's kind of hard to conduct business wearing a rain suit and goggles. I did my very best to act knowledgeable and businesslike. He was a guy probably around my age, dressed nicely and well spoken. I thought for sure I was gonna make a sale. As we walked from the house to the end of the driveway, we talked about selling things and how you have to avoid scams and he told me how you shouldn't take cashier's checks from people because you can actually buy cashier's checks at Staples. (It's a long driveway we had plenty of time to talk). He drove it and looked under the hood. All the positive signs were there until my excitement was replaced with "Are you freakin kidding me?" As we walked back to the house he started telling me of his failed 23 years of marriage and how he used to own restaurants and had horses but when he divorced he gave it all to his wife....blah, blah, blah. Bottom line, he can't get a loan because his credit sucks. Welcome to the bank of Patti! His solution was to give me the title to a truck that he owns and I would keep the title to the focus, then he would make monthly payments and probably be able to pay it off in a year. I wanted to yell: "Are you F---ing kidding me????" I didn't though because I thought maybe he was sent by Oprah to test me and see if I would be a good Samaritan and then she would shower me with all kinds of gifts. He told me to think about it and he would call in a few days. I was polite and told him I would talk to my husband about it. In my head I'm thinking; there is no way in hell I'm going to do that. Who does that????? Doesn't he watch TV. There are tons of ads for car dealers where they say: "No money down and we don't care about your credit." Why doesn't he go to one of those??? Better yet, why doesn't he sell the truck that he supposedly has???? Very strange! He must have thought I was a push over maybe based on my attire. Maybe it was the gutter debris that spelled out "sucker" across my forehead. He doesn't know who he's dealing with. I wasn't born yesterday, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck, I got his number and it's 1-800-loserrr. Sorry Oprah, I guess I failed your test.

I Need To Get Back To The Kitchen

I mentioned in my previous blog about not cooking dinner for my husband in the recent past. Case in point, I opened up my oven today and found a broiler pan and plate which held bacon and left over pancakes from over two weeks ago. Already moldy! Good thing I found them before Joe did. He's so hungry he probably would have eaten them.

Hooray For Power Tools

It's raining today which is probably a good thing. I have been working like a mad woman trying to get the yard work done and my garden planted. I have neglected the inside of my house for weeks. No one come over, I would be horrified. Joe hasn't had a good home cooked meal in awhile. We've had mostly takeout and eggs. I can't do everything I'm only one person!!!!! Yesterday I worked with my favorite piece of power equipment; the POWER WASHER! Actually it's my favorite outdoor piece of equipment. My indoor favorite is my COMPOUND MITER SAW! Who could have just one favorite when there are so many. I power washed the algae and scum off of the house and decks. I had on my rain gear (coat and pants) and goggles. I thought I was completely prepared to stay dry. What I didn't account for was the water running down my sleeve into my pants when I lifted the sprayer above my head. That was cold! Next time I guess I'm going to have to rubber band the sleeves. It's amazing to me how effective a power washer is. The dirt just melts away. You do however have to be careful. Depending on which nozzle you use, you can take the paint off of things or the skin off of your toes. (Note to self: wear shoes when power washing). You know how when you are using a regular hose and maybe you get grass and stuff on your feet and you take the hose and mindlessly spray off your feet? You can't do that with a power washer. It really hurts. One has to stay vigilant. I get carried away when I power wash. I'll be working on the house and I come by a piece of lawn furniture and I think "hmmmm, wonder if I can clean that?" I cleaned the ladder I was using and the deck box. Oh, and my shoes. One however needs to estimate the distance an object will fly when hit with the stream from the power washer. I had to retrieve my shoe from down the hill. One last piece of advice. Don't clean out the gutters with a power washer, especially after you have just cleaned the side of the house. I had gutter debris up my nose. The best part was using the jet stream to write my name in the dirt on the patio. Now I know why guys like using their jet stream that way. However, with my jet stream I could write the Gettysburg address if I wanted to. Ha, in your face!

Honor Your Mother

Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mothers out there. There really needs to be more than one day to celebrate Mothers. It's a freakin hard job and it never ends. Then you have Grandmothers. It's like being a parent all over again but you don't have any control over them. FYI: It's not a good idea to try and tell your kids how to raise their kids. I don't do that; of course, I'm just trying to warn all you other Grandmothers not to do it. As a Grandmother you need to show self restraint. Besides it's the parents that are going to have to deal with the fall out of their bad decisions (pay back). Remember, they have to learn to parent just like you did. Guess what? You weren't always right either. So no matter how much you want to butt in, give them their space. You raised them, they will do the right thing. Unless of course your an idiot. Then your kids will be idiots too. It's a vicious cycle that is hard to break. As a Grandmother you can however, be a little more adventurous with the activities you engage in with your grandchildren. Like letting them walk around in the chicken yard with no shoes, spraying their hair with white hair paint for no apparent reason, putting tattoos on their foreheads, letting them play in the mud and sand and then hosing them down and finally, letting them paint your toenails and fingernails with a magic marker. What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's. It's easier to let loose with your grand kids because you don't have all the parental worries stressing you out. Being a Grandmother is kind of like getting a do over. You can do the things with your grand babies that maybe you didn't have time to do with your kids. So everyone, be kind to your Mother's today and everyday. Who else would do a job with no pay and little gratitude.