A Distinguished Career

If your doctor was retiring would you cry?  Would you give him a personalized gift at a substantial expense?   Would you write him a letter telling him how much he helped make your life what it is today and enclose pictures of your happy healthy family?  No? Me neither.  Dr. C Joe Ottinger is retiring after 39 years, and that is exactly what his patients did for him.  Actually I am not surprised.  If I had a doctor like him I might do the same.  However, doctors like Joe are few and far between.

What makes Dr. Ottinger different?  He spends time with his patients.  He can tell you personal stories about his long time patients because he listens and he cares.  He does what it takes to help them.  It's not a 9-5 for him.  He goes in and sees patients on his days off or after working hours.  He is accessible.  He treats his nurse as a partner.  He respects his staff and appreciates what they do.  Those are just a few of the things I can come up with off the top of my head.  If I really sat and thought about it you would be reading for a very long time.

I know him as a doctor and just a regular guy, and both are the same.  He is not pretentious by any stretch of the imagination.  No one has been hired to replace him (not that they could).  Ft. Wayne will be sorely lacking in the area of pediatric neurology.  It's really pretty sad that the quality of care he provided to this town is gone.  You talk to almost any person who has a child with neurological problems here in town and they will have seen Dr. O.  Then they will tell you how wonderful he is; how much he help them and their child.

I may be a little biased since I am married to him.  However, I'm not telling you anything I haven't heard personally from the source or seen first hand.  It's just the facts.  I met Joe when I was a nurse at the Rehab hospital.  That was my first job as a nurse so I was pretty green.  He never made me feel that way unlike some other doctors who shall remain nameless who were total assholes!  Most of the time when you call a physician on the phone or have to talk to them in person they can be intimidating (it's an ego thing).  Dr. O was never like that.  He let you say what you had to say and then it was discussed.   He is a good person first and that is what makes him a good doctor.  That is why I was drawn to him.  I asked him out and he turned me down (he was seeing someone else).  That integrity made him even more attractive.

I've only been around him for the last 15 years or so of his career, but I've seen him; on call, woken up in the middle of the night requesting orders for ibuprofen, working late, working on days off, dealing with crazy people, dealing with medical politics, etc, etc.  Through it all, the things that mattered most to him were the people he worked with and his patients.

Every thing I have written is the absolute truth.  Joe however is not perfect....when it comes to doctoring his family that is.  It's the hazard of any profession.  Carpenters houses usually need repair. Hair dressers have the messiest hair.  Chefs bring their family take out.....Well, the Ottinger family is lucky to be alive.  His daughter Julie calling him from college after burning herself is told to put aloe on it.  He finds out later she has 3rd degree burns.  His other favorite remedy was to lay on your left side.  It doesn't matter what is wrong with you, just lay on your left side (it helps to dispel gas).  I personally had a few close calls met with apathy.  I was overcome with toxic fumes and he took me outside and patted me on the head.  I burnt myself with a glue gun on the nail bed and had a vagal response where I almost passed out and my heart rate dropped into the 40's.  He asked me what I was doing on the floor.  I suffered with poison ivy for 2 weeks before he offered to get me a medrol dose pack.  "Really, that's an option and it took 2 weeks for you to tell me that!?"  Those were dark times, but we survived.  The thing is none of those situations were real emergencies and it takes a good doctor to know the difference.  We like to give him a hard time about those instances, but if it was a true crisis I wouldn't want anyone else by my side.

Joe deserves all the accolades.  He also deserves to enjoy his retirement.  Cheers to you Dr. Ottinger!!

Happy Anniversary

10 years, TEN YEARS, X years,IIIIIIIIII YEARS. Joe has actually put up with me for 10 years of marriage. Honestly, they have been 10 pretty easy years relatively free of conflict and turmoil. Anyone that says their marriage is perfect is a big fat liar, but as far as marriage goes mine is pretty perfect for me. Joe knows how not to push my buttons. That is a good skill to have since once my button is pushed it's hard to shut it off. I will definitely admit that I am the more emotional of the two of us. Joe tends to keep things in, but when he does blow it's not a pretty sight. Since most people have never seen that side of him it's kind of shocking if they happen to witness it. I find it a little funny because he's not very good at being mad. His normal demeanor and being mad just don't go together. It's like watching a newborn calf walk for the first time.

Joe and I met when I started working at the Rehab Hospital right after I graduated from nursing school. He would do rounds at the hospital and he was always so nice to me and and all of the staff (not like a lot of the doctors that think they are above everyone). Whenever he showed up I always tried to make sure I made myself available in case he needed anything. We bonded one day discussing some patients scrotum. (To some people that may seem weird, but to medical people it's totally a normal conversation).

One day I was at my med cart with a couple of other nurses. Joe was alone in the dictation room. I told my fellow nurses I was going to ask him out. None of us knew if he was married or not. I tried to do research but apparently Joe was a pretty private person because no one seemed to have any scoop. I got up my nerve and walked straight in to the dictation room. I asked him out, he gave me his answer, I went back to my med cart. My fellow nurses stood there with mouths open; not believing I really did it. "What did he say????" "He said no." "Oh my gosh, really?" "He said he was flattered but he has a girlfriend."

I was disappointed, but I thought it was really noble of him to not betray his girlfriend. It was also liberating to be the one asking for a date instead of the one only going out with the idiots that were asking me. I had recently dated a guy that I ended up having to get a restraining order on. Obviously the story does not end there.

I started dating a guy that I knew from high school. I think I figured he would be safe since I'd known him a long time. They used to call him "lyin Brian". I knew about that nickname, but for some reason I ignored the implications. He truly was the biggest liar that I had ever met. He would lie about stuff that didn't even need to be lied about. In the beginning I ignored it. I knew in the back of my mind that this guy was bad for me, but I hung in there for 10 months. Thank God I had the strength and sense to kick him to the curb. During those 10 months I had switched jobs and was now working at Parkview in the Surgical Trauma Intensive Care.

I didn't have the opportunity to see Joe anymore since I now worked on the other side of town and honestly I hadn't really thought about it anymore. One day I was in a room with a patient and I see Joe walk by the door. I called out to him, but he didn't hear me (little did I know that him not hearing me would become a pattern). I came out of the room and hollered at him down the hall. He and everyone else heard me and he turned around. We chatted for a moment and he says: "remember a while back you asked me out?" "Yah". "Are you still interested?" "Sure." I gave him my phone number.

Two weeks later he finally calls me (knowing him now, I am sure he over thought that decision for those two weeks. He doesn't do things spur of the moment). We finally went on our first date (which discussing it with Joe now, neither of us remember. We're pretty sure that it was dinner and a movie). When he came to my house to pick me up Amanda answered the door. Amanda would have been about 14. She came upstairs to get me and says: "there is a grandpa at the door." Hilarious! The rest is history.

I found out later that he was actually looking for me at Parkview that day. It wasn't a chance meeting. That sly dog!

So Happy Anniversary to us! And here's to many more, CHEERS!

Almost A Tragedy

I have a scary story to tell you, but if you read this you have to promise not to tell Joe.

I've been doing a very good job taking care of Ellie while Joe is in Florida. I don't hold her and carry her around as much as Joe, and I admit I don't watch her as closely as Joe when she is outside but none the less she is pampered compared to most dogs. Joe is coming home tomorrow so it's only a matter of hours before Joe and Ellie are reunited and I can relax a little. You see, I'm still convinced that if anything ever happened to Ellie that was my fault, I would be kicked to the curb.

With that in mind, you will understand why the events of this evening could have changed the entire course of my marriage.

I had Ellie dressed in a sweater to help keep the chill off while her and I were out in the yard. I went to the barn to see if I had another squirrel in my live trap (the count is up to 4). Ellie followed me into the barn which kind of surprised me because the chickens were in there too. She was sniffing around while the chickens were doing their thing. I even thought that it was good that Ellie and the chickens could finally be in the same area without an incident. When I first got the chickens Ellie tried to take a stand and show them who was boss. The chickens however had a different idea and chased Ellie until she was a quivering ball of fur. Ever since then Ellie kept her distance.....until today.

So, Ellie and the chickens are close to each other but not interacting at all. I make the mistake of talking to Ellie which got her a little excited. I said: "You're not gonna get the chickens are you?" I think she heard "get the chickens" and she made a little attempt at intimidation by doing a little lunge toward one of them and letting out a little growl. Now, if Bear (who weights 45 lbs.) lunges at the chickens, they run. When Ellie (who weighs 5 lbs) lunges at the chickens, they attack. In a split second, the chicken that Ellie lunged at ran away a few steps then turned around and jumped on top of Ellie who by this time had rolled over on her back in submission. The chicken is on top of Ellie with it's wings flapping and squawking. It reminded me of the Mutual Of Omaha Wild Kingdom episodes where they showed huge birds grabbing their prey from the ground and taking off. By the time I got to Ellie, the rest of the chickens were ganging up on her and jumping on top of her as well. I'm screaming: "DON"T KILL HER!!!!!!" I grab Ellie; who is now in a tight little ball, from the midst of the chicken frenzy. Surprisingly she isn't shaking and seems actually calm. She's probably in shock.

I think the whole event looked worse than it really was, so I didn't feel so bad when I started to laugh uncontrollably. I was laughing out of relief that she was ok and that I wouldn't have to find another place to live. She doesn't have a scratch on her. I'm pretty sure the sweater saved her from claw marks. Joe never need know of the events of today. It would only hurt him. Remember you promised to keep this a secret. Some things are just better left unsaid.

Tofuey

Joe was so excited yesterday when I told him we were having tofu and bean sprouts for dinner he could hardly contain himself. I recently purchased a bean sprouter and have already harvested my first crop. Yummy! I made Asian inspired rice noodles and tofu and sprinkled fresh bean sprouts on top. Joe loved it, he has his with a side order of pork. Actually it was pretty good. Today, Joe made a trip to Michigan to see the triplets so he didn't get to have any leftovers. Too bad for him! I had Jax here with me and he saw me eating the bean sprouts, so I gave him some. He chewed them for a little bit, then took them out of his mouth. "What is that Nanu?" "It's bean sprouts." "YUCK!" That's coming from a kid that drinks bath water. There's no accounting for taste.

Drop It Before There is Blood Shed!

Driving in a car for extended periods of time makes me irritable. Especially when Joe tries to eat my food. Under the best circumstances I am protective of my food. I don't like to share. One of my first dates with Joe, we went to dinner with his kids. The food came, and everyone starting eating off of each others plate. Not in a terrible ravenous way or anything. It was polite, but forks were still reaching everywhere. I thought: "What do I do????" I wanted to say: "Back away from my plate!" Rebelling at that moment in time could have been detrimental so in hindsight I am glad I kept my trap shut. It all worked out and actually I have become more accustomed to the Ottinger eating method when dining out. Joe and I actually share many meals out. However, when I pick out specific food for me I become possessive of it. I buy light potato chips sometimes. Joe will eat regular chips so I don't have to share my diet chips. Unless of course there are no other chips around. He tried to take some chips in the car and I slapped him. I bitch slapped him hard! Ok, maybe not that hard, but it wasn't a pussy slap. Before everyone gets in a tizzy, I slapped his hand not his face. Then there was the banana. Bananas have a small window of perfect ripeness. Not hard, not too soft and no visible bruises. I picked out one such banana from the hotel breakfast bar. Joe picked out a banana too. His was much less pristine. Our bananas lay side by side on the console between the car seats. Joe aimlessly reaches for a banana and grabs my perfect specimen. "Seriously Joe, did we not just have the banana conversation???" My hand quickly reached for his hand. It wasn't quite a slap this time, it was more of a grab that said: "make one more move with my banana and you will regret it." He quickly releases the banana and the incident ends peacefully. I told Joe; "sometimes I'm like a firecracker waiting to go off"!
Joe said; "I'm trading you in for a couple of cherry bombs. They only blow smoke."

Speaking of Hotels

I never used to mind going to hotels on vacations. When Joe and I first got married, he would get free vacations through his "connections". So we stayed in some nice hotels. I rather enjoyed it. Joe's connections have since dried up, so no more nice vacations in nice hotels. In the last 4 or 5 years I have come to abhor hotels. They are dirty and disgusting and all I think about is the nastiness that goes on in them and the fact that I am sleeping in the same bed. I wear flip flops the entire time, even in the shower. I made Joe start wearing shoes all the time too because he has a habit of scuffing his bare feet across the carpet. GROSS! As we were driving down to Florida the other day, I had an epiphany! I told Joe: "I just figured out that it's not that I don't like hotels in general, I just don't like the ones you take me too!" His response? "You can't expect a two star husband to take you to a four star hotel. Touche!

Police Arrest Indiana Physician at Florida Hampton Inn

AP WIRE NEWS RELEASE:
A prominent Indiana Doctor was arrested Thursday morning at a Florida Hampton Inn on suspicion of smuggling and fraud. Dr."O"no and his wife; Alpha Doe were taken into custody as they were leaving the hotel. 5lbs of.....Chihuahua was found to have been smuggled into the "no pet" hotel room. The said Chihuahua going by the name of Ellie, was also charged with resisting arrest when she bit the arresting officer. Ellie will be quarantined pending trial. The fraud charges stem from parking in a handicapped space while fraudulently using a handicap placard. The handicap placard belongs to the subjects mother-in-law who was not traveling with the couple. Alpha Doe was released after questioning when it was determined that she was innocent of the charges and that her husband was working alone. Through her tears, Alpha Doe is quoted as saying: "I told him not to do it. He doesn't think straight when it comes to Ellie. She's the other woman in our marriage."

After his arraignment, Dr. "O"no pleaded guilty to all charges with the stipulation that he and Ellie be incarcerated together. Dr."O"no was sent to an undisclosed Florida prison. Upon arrival to his cell, he found Ellie curled up sleeping with his cell mate; Bubba. Dr."O" was heard yelling: "You Bitch! After all I've done for you, you treat me like this?" Dr. "O"no had no comment when asked about his outburst. According to Bubba; however, "It's not Ellie who's the bitch." Attempts to reach Alpha Doe by phone have failed; however, she could be seen on the balcony of her Florida condo drinking Mohitos served by Juan the pool boy.

My Romeo

Aaaah, Love is in the air. Spring is just around the corner and we're just one day away from the most romantic day of the year. I am not one for impractical displays of affection like store bought flowers or candy. Give me a new power tool and I will love you forever. However, sometimes even "I" appreciate a little romance. Joe and I were on the subject of divorce; not a romantic subject you say? No, it's not, but we were talking about other peoples divorces. In our circle of friends there are a few recent breakups. Ok, it's not really a circle of friends, because we don't have many friends. It's more like a dot of friends. Really they're not friends, they're more like acquaintances. So, in our dot of acquaintances there have been a few breakups. I jokingly asked Joe if he was going to get rid of me anytime soon, figuring he would say something like; "Oh no darling, I love you too much to let you go!" Or at least something to that effect. Instead he says; "No, it would be too much work." Seriously???? That's like saying; "I'm staying married to you because there is too much paperwork involved in a divorce." Or; "My schedule is too full to fit in appointments with a lawyer." How romantic! Come on Joe, throw me a bone!!!!! After I pointed out that his comment was less than inspiring, he quickly made up by saying some mushy stuff that was total bullshit. That satisfied me. What really touched my heart though was the fact that he took the trash to the curb for me. What a man! He's quite a Romeo.