Police Arrest Indiana Physician at Florida Hampton Inn

AP WIRE NEWS RELEASE:
A prominent Indiana Doctor was arrested Thursday morning at a Florida Hampton Inn on suspicion of smuggling and fraud. Dr."O"no and his wife; Alpha Doe were taken into custody as they were leaving the hotel. 5lbs of.....Chihuahua was found to have been smuggled into the "no pet" hotel room. The said Chihuahua going by the name of Ellie, was also charged with resisting arrest when she bit the arresting officer. Ellie will be quarantined pending trial. The fraud charges stem from parking in a handicapped space while fraudulently using a handicap placard. The handicap placard belongs to the subjects mother-in-law who was not traveling with the couple. Alpha Doe was released after questioning when it was determined that she was innocent of the charges and that her husband was working alone. Through her tears, Alpha Doe is quoted as saying: "I told him not to do it. He doesn't think straight when it comes to Ellie. She's the other woman in our marriage."

After his arraignment, Dr. "O"no pleaded guilty to all charges with the stipulation that he and Ellie be incarcerated together. Dr."O"no was sent to an undisclosed Florida prison. Upon arrival to his cell, he found Ellie curled up sleeping with his cell mate; Bubba. Dr."O" was heard yelling: "You Bitch! After all I've done for you, you treat me like this?" Dr. "O"no had no comment when asked about his outburst. According to Bubba; however, "It's not Ellie who's the bitch." Attempts to reach Alpha Doe by phone have failed; however, she could be seen on the balcony of her Florida condo drinking Mohitos served by Juan the pool boy.