Driving in a car for extended periods of time makes me irritable. Especially when Joe tries to eat my food. Under the best circumstances I am protective of my food. I don't like to share. One of my first dates with Joe, we went to dinner with his kids. The food came, and everyone starting eating off of each others plate. Not in a terrible ravenous way or anything. It was polite, but forks were still reaching everywhere. I thought: "What do I do????" I wanted to say: "Back away from my plate!" Rebelling at that moment in time could have been detrimental so in hindsight I am glad I kept my trap shut. It all worked out and actually I have become more accustomed to the Ottinger eating method when dining out. Joe and I actually share many meals out. However, when I pick out specific food for me I become possessive of it. I buy light potato chips sometimes. Joe will eat regular chips so I don't have to share my diet chips. Unless of course there are no other chips around. He tried to take some chips in the car and I slapped him. I bitch slapped him hard! Ok, maybe not that hard, but it wasn't a pussy slap. Before everyone gets in a tizzy, I slapped his hand not his face. Then there was the banana. Bananas have a small window of perfect ripeness. Not hard, not too soft and no visible bruises. I picked out one such banana from the hotel breakfast bar. Joe picked out a banana too. His was much less pristine. Our bananas lay side by side on the console between the car seats. Joe aimlessly reaches for a banana and grabs my perfect specimen. "Seriously Joe, did we not just have the banana conversation???" My hand quickly reached for his hand. It wasn't quite a slap this time, it was more of a grab that said: "make one more move with my banana and you will regret it." He quickly releases the banana and the incident ends peacefully. I told Joe; "sometimes I'm like a firecracker waiting to go off"!
Joe said; "I'm trading you in for a couple of cherry bombs. They only blow smoke."
4 comments:
Now I know where I get that from.I hate sharing my food, especially when it is on my plate! That is why we have plates, because if it was meant to be shared there would be one bowl or plate and a bunch of forks.
You friggan Osselaers are so wierd. you have the same damn DNA...what is the big deal if you share some food. I think you guys are the wierdos.....not everyone else. Any I know Joe did say anything that quirky...about the cherry bombs. That had to come from Patti...LOL!
Joe absolutly said that about the cherry bombs. He came up with the two star husband comment too. He was on a witty roll. I just have a question, is being a weirdo anything like being retarded?
Either way, I dont think its funny
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