The Beauty Of The Ocean

I went to the beach today and I was the only one there. I didn't go to Marco or Naples beach, I went to my beach in Chokoloskee Bay. I call it my beach because I am the only one who goes there regularly. It's not the most beautiful beach; the sand isn't pure white and the water is not azure blue. It's beautiful in a natural and unconstructed way. There are no obtrusive signs or man made obstructions. Nothing to point you in a specific direction or insult your intelligence by giving instructions pertaining to those with no common sense. Just nature and me, and of course the smell of dead fish from the recent cold snap (the smell is slowly subsiding, thank God!). This beach is the only place where I could just sit and look without feeling I needed to be doing something else. It never looks the same and just when I think it's the most beautiful site I've ever seen, the next day it's even more amazing. Calming, relaxing and tranquil.

Being in the water gives me a completely different feeling than looking at the water. Calming, relaxing and tranquil turns into anxious, unnerving and scary. Today was the best day weather wise since we've been here. It was warm and the wind was calm. I decided that it was the perfect day to kayak. Joe was out fishing so I was on my own. Almost as soon as I started padding, my mind started working overtime and I turned into Peter Benchley coming up with all kinds of scenarios all ending with me being eaten by some sea creature. I pictured the placid water being disturbed by a large shark breaking the surface and swallowing me kayak and all. There was no one else around. No boats to rescue me or to see what happened to me. I had my life jacket with me, but wasn't wearing it until I realized that if I had a seizure and fell overboard no one would ever find me and I would end up like the rotting fish on the beach. As I paddled along I saw the swirls made by fish that I had disturbed. Some of the swirls were small, others were as big as a 6' man; those are the swirls that freaked me out! I couldn't see through the water since it is so murky which made it even more scary. I saw something poking out of the water and I decided to investigate. I figured it was a coconut. The closer I got I could see that it wasn't a coconut.....oh my gosh it's a head! No it wasn't a head, it was a rock sticking out of the water. I decided to use my paddle to see how deep the water was. Again, because the water is so murky you can't see the bottom so 2' of water looks like 100'. Turns out I was in about 2-3' of water. Basically if I fell overboard all I would have to do to save myself is stand up. I decide to head back to shore and as I went a little farther, something bumped my paddle. That prompted an out loud scream which changed into a laugh when I realized that my paddle hit the bottom as I was now in only about 1' of water. How ridiculous! I needed to get out of there so I could relax. I though I would give myself a good workout and paddle as fast as I could to shore, plus it would help keep my mind from racing. You know how when you run up wooden stairs fast and it sounds like someone is following you? You have to turn around and look even though you know there is no way anyone is there. Well....paddling a kayak fast makes the same sound. Of course I had to turn around and look. I wasn't worried about "someone" being there, but "something" slimy and gross.

I need to stay out of the water and just stick to looking at it.