Thoughts During A 20 Hour Drive

I misplace my reading glasses constantly even in a confined space like the car. Couldn't find them for 1/2 of the trip.

All the snowbird ladies at the rest stops wear Capri pants with some kind of print on them and cardigan sets.

Old men have no peripheral vision and can't turn their heads far enough around to see cars behind them. I think they just pull out and hope for the best.

Florida is called the Sunshine State. It should be called the "We Bare All" State. Every other billboard is for a gentleman's club.

At least I can still attract the attention of the old guys and truckers. Truckers look at anything female.

Why is it called a highway? Are there lowways? The British call them motorways. That makes more sense. And.....why are driveways called driveways when we park in them and we drive on Parkways?

Why has no one come up with an appropriate method of peeing in your car? Cups don't work. Not that I've ever tried.

When there are 3 lanes of traffic, why do the slowest people drive in the 2 left lanes?

Ironic! I get to Florida and I get a cold.

Why don't they call them Potty areas instead of rest areas? More people potty than rest.

I think they should provide Yoga instructors at truck stops. Those truckers must get awful cramped up and sore from driving all the time. I can just hear the truckers on their CB radios: "Namaste good buddy!" "How's your downward dog posture coming there Bud?" "Catch ya on the road to spiritual enlightenment."

I'm sure glad I brought 8 liters of wine, they didn't have my brand here.

Thank God we made it here in one piece.