Patti Get Your Gun

I hesitate to write about the events of yesterday for fear that it makes me sound like Annie Oakley on crack, but if I can't make fun of myself, then I can't in good conscience make fun of other people (which I soooo like to do).

It's strange to me that issues with my neighbors have come up back to back. We pretty much resolved the shooting incident; Bryan went over and talked to them. Now the ongoing pain in my ass that is my other neighbors dogs, has reared it's ugly head again. Just to get you up to date, the neighbors dogs have been a nuisance since they arrived. Their are 3 of them and they are huge. Shortly after they arrived they stole one of my (new) shoes that was in my garage and a coffee cup. I actually got the shoe back with a few teeth marks. When they wondered into the garage, they also wandered into the house. They have picked a fight with Ellie and Bear. They chase us barking and growling when we are on our lawn mower or 4 wheeler. They pee in my garden. So in general, they are a pain in my ass. I have in the past confronted my neighbors very kindly about their dogs. They even put in an invisible fence; which to their credit was a gesture of good will. The fence however; doesn't seem to work because they still come over. Oh I almost forgot. I called animal control on them as well. So suffice to say, they are aware of my feelings about their dogs. Which brings me to yesterday. I witnessed one of their dogs coming out of my barn(chicken house). He ran as soon as he saw me. Then I realized that one of the chickens was not with the rest of the pack. I followed the feather trail and found her huddled in the corner of the coop. I thought she was dead! Thankfully, she wasn't. I didn't check her out completly at that time because she was really scared and I was really pissed. That was the last straw! I had had it!!! I got in the truck and drove over to their house. I could have walked but it was cold, plus I had Jax. Besides, I figured screeching tires in their driveway would get their attention(just kidding, I didn't screech). I was really pissed. Not the crying screaming kind of pissed, just the passionate, adamant kind of pissed. I was able to control the tone of my voice, but not the words. I won't bore you with the entire dialogue. Bottom line, I told her if her dogs came on my property again I would shoot them. Yes, SHOOT THEM! Who am I, Rambo? I am the wife of a well respected doctor and I'm running around threatening to shoot my neighbors dogs! Just so you know, I would never shoot a dog unless it was attacking me or my family. Besides I didn't really mean I would shoot it with a real gun. I would use my paint ball gun which is locked and loaded by the back door. She didn't know that though. For all she knows I am some psycho neighbor with rage issues and a gun. Oops! Well I must have made an impression because later that evening her husband came to the door and told Joe that he was on our property looking for his dog because he was loose. Apparently not much else was said but Joe surmised that he wanted to let us know he was there so that I didn't shoot him. I wasn't even home at the time. Joe called me though and wanted to know what I did with their dog. I told him it wasn't me and I have an alibi. I have dated and timed register reciepts from Michael's and Kohl's. Don't say anything and call my attorney!