Quit being mean to me!

I'm wondering if I have the words "Abuse Me" written across my forehead. Twice in the last 2 weeks I have been verbally abused by motorists. The first time I was on my motorcycle. Some impatient lady pulled up behind me and immediately honked her horn. Thinking it was someone that knew me, I turned around. She mouthed the words "what are you waiting for?" Being the cool and calm person that I normally am, I responded; "waiting for the f--king cars you stupid b---h! She was in a position that she couldn't even see the oncoming traffic. So again, being the understanding and considerate person that I normally am, I waited until there were no cars in sight before I proceded to cross the intersection (that took about 60 seconds). I played chicken with her, switching lanes and such for a little while until I came to my senses and realized that on my motorcycle I was not going to be effective if I rammed her car. So, we both flipped each other off and went on our merry way. Today, I went to a car repair shop to pick up Amanda. I had never been to this particular shop before and parking was limited. I pulled around the building and parked. As I was walking up some large scary man in a pick up truck yelled at me to move my car. Not letting him intimidate me, I asked "why". He pointed out that I was not in the parking lot of the business I was going to. My bad! It was all one building, but apparently not a connected business. I proceeded to tell him that I was sorry, I have never been here before. He immediately began to berate me saying; "can't you read the sign??" 'This side of the building is even a different color." blah, blah blah. A nice; "please move your car, your in the wrong parking lot." Would have been sufficient enough for me to say "sorry" and move my car. In the spirit of the day, I called him a "f--king moron" and he called me a "bitch". I actually stepped up on the running board of the truck and looked over the top to yell my insult, just to make sure he heard me. Then I moved my car. Why? Why? Why? do people have to be so rude to people they don't even know? I consider myself a nice person, courteous and reasonable, but when someone goes off on me for no reason I loose it! I would never instantly approach someone and be an asshole. I have to get to know them first to see if they deserve it. Seriously people, learn some patience and manners.

Nursing 101

This is a panniculus, an image that I'm sure you will never forget. I had a friend working in the ER that had to put a catheter in a women with a large panniculus. She had to move the panniculus and when she did, a $10 bill fell out. The woman said that that is where she hides her cash so her boyfriend doesn't find it. She then stuck it underneath her breast. One reason why you should never put money in your mouth. You don't know where it's been.

Bad News....Good News

I haven't written anything for awhile because frankly, everything I think about lately is depressing. The economy, stupid customer service people, Mom is not feeling well, the dog is old, Amanda's car broke down, Bryan and Sarah's neighbors are idiots....I could go on but I won't. There is a saying though: "You are only as happy as your unhappiest child." That is so true and it doesn't matter how old they are you still hurt when they hurt. I have a tendency to want to fix everything for them, but I know I can't. I've been trying to think of something to discuss that was not a downer. Sarah gave me something good to shout about.....SHE GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE NURSING PROGRAM!!!!!!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I'm so excited for her and PROUD. This will be a great step to a better financial future for her and Bryan. Congrats Sarah! I can't wait to help you study. What I really want though is to be a fly on the wall when you are about to perform your first catheterization on a uncircumcised 80 year old man, or when you have to give a bed bath to a 300 lb woman with a huge panniculus (look it up) that's heavier than Nicholas. That would be PRICELESS! Gosh I miss nursing, but now I can live vicariously through you.

Happy Birthday Laura

I'm sorry I'm late with your birthday wish. I hope you had a great day! Happy Birthday from beautiful Fort Wayne.

The Chicken Chronicles

Chicken Update.....I am up to 8 eggs everyday. I have started giving eggs away to friends and family because you can only eat so many eggs. Bryan finally took some today but Brad is still queasy about them. The chickens have become really friendly and they come running when they see people. Ellie, however has been attacked two or three times so she stays a good 15 feet away from them at all times. I should have done this a long time ago, I'm having soooo much fun. I have a sign on my door now that reads: "check your shoe for chicken poo." Chicken poo is everywhere!!!!!

Happy Birthday to Robbie and Shane

Robbie what can I say. I think you are the greatest! You are the hardest worker I know , and you give great advice and support. Plus you have put up with my brother all of these years. I Love you and I am proud to call you my sister. Happy 65th Birthday or whatever.
Shaner, you are the biggest sweetest teddy bear ever! You are so much fun to be around. I am sad that I don't get to see you more often, but when I do it's always entertaining. I Love you and I hope you have a wonderful Birthday. (Don't fall down.)

Proper Baby Etiquette

I was looking at pictures of baby Delanie and thinking that she is so cute! I can see both Karl and Monica in her. She going to be a dark skin, dark eyed little peanut. She is the kind of baby that people will walk up to and say: "she's so adorable!" What about the babies that aren't adorable? Let's be honest, there are babies out their that are just plain ugly. Don't get me wrong, I think all babies are precious and deserving of love no matter how hideous they look, but when you peek inside a baby stroller your looking for that cute little bundle of squishy flesh. Seeing that just makes people smile. What happens when you peek inside and you see a baby that looks like its been run over by a lawn roller? Your immediate reaction is to say: "Oh my God!", but you have to control yourself, (a): because you don't want to hurt the parents feelings, and (b): because if you startle the baby it will start to cry and an ugly baby is even uglier when it's crying. Now since you've made the gesture to look inside the stroller you are pretty much obligated to comment. What do you say? "Oh my gosh, I've never seen such an ugly baby." Not the right thing to say, it just makes you sound shallow. Save those comments for later. You don't want to say; "Oh it's so cute" either. First of all, never call a baby, "it". That is just adding insult to injury because the parents know their baby is ugly even if they don't say it out loud. So calling their ugly baby "it" is really a low blow. Secondly, if you say a baby is cute and it isn't, then that makes you a liar. Nobody likes a liar. It's better to use words like: "precious" and "God's little miracle." Those are safe terms since they describe babies as a group in general. The next issue is the sex of the baby. Some parents get offended when you call their baby the wrong sex. That's just stupid. Babies are usually bald, wrinkly and sleeping. So unless they are dressed in the traditional color coded pink for girls, and blue for boys, then it's a toss up. But again, don't say; "Is it a boy or girl?" Say; "Is your baby a boy or girl?" Remember the term "it" should be avoided. Sometimes though you'll see a baby dressed in pink with a pink blanket and stroller, and a pink bow in its hair and some moron will ask; "oh is it a boy or girl?" It's best to just ignore those people because they are idiots. I'm just glad that I don't have to worry about ugly babies in our family. McKee descendants have the cute baby gene.

Happy Birthday Henry

Oh Henry, Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful Birthday and get to eat lots of cake. Bryan says "Hi!" Love and Kisses!